Quotes About Communication

Meow" means "woof" in cat.

I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories.

The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.

If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.

humor can get in under the door while seriousness is still fumbling at the handle

My wife... its difficult to say what she does... she sells seashells on the seashore.

You learn very very quickly that it is mostly about swearing, actually. That's all you're doing, swearing, in a box with wheels.

I don't see teenagers anymore. I see... I see youths. Slumped S shapes in their hoodies, all huddled round a bin of burning grannies. All texting eachother because they've given up on speech.

He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas of any man I ever met.

I cannot speak well enough to be unintelligible.

If you're right & I'm not, I'm going to be hell to live with, she said. So, you better think about that next time you want to be right.

She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.

Irony is just honesty with the volume cranked up.

So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said 'Is that the local swimming baths?' He said 'It depends where you're calling from.'

Well, my brother says 'Hello.' So, hooray for speech therapy.

I don't get the regular AIDS test anymore. I get the roundabout AIDS test. I ask my friend Brian, "Do you know anybody who has AIDS?". He says, "No". I say, "Cool, because you know me."

You can say, 'Can I use your bathroom?' and nobody cares. But if you ask, 'Can I use the plop-plop machine?' it always breaks the conversation.

Dali Lama said, 'when you open the heart of the person with humor, you can tell him the most truth. But if you tell him truth without humor, the heart closes.'

My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'

Humor is, by its nature, more truthful than factual.

The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"

My girlfriend works at Hooters. In the kitchen.

Humor is an amazing way to talk people down off a ledge.

The sense of humor has other things to do than to make itself conspicuous in the act of laughter.