Quotes About Irony

Sometimes people deserve a high five, in the face, with a chair.

I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.

I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing the other patients.

This is getting funny, but there ain't nobody laughing.

I worship the quicksand he [Richard Nixon] walks in.

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.

My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero?

I think a lot of the time you just parody yourself.

It really seems to me that in the midst of great tragedy, there is always the horrible possibility that something terribly funny will happen.

What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.

Nothing is funnier than unhappiness.

She likes herself, yet others hates, For that which in herself she prizes; And while she laughs at them, forgets She is the thing that she despises

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

It must be a cruel joke of nature that people who are so bad for us, make us feel so good.

What other culture could have produced someone like Hemingway and not seen the joke?

The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being, but to remind him that he is already degraded

Most jokes state a bitter truth.

Another cruel morning has come. Oh, joy!

America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.

On Christmas day you can't get sore, Your fellow man you must adore, There's time to cheat him all the more The other three hundred and sixty-four

I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.

It's ironic that the people who complain about drama are the ones who fuel the fire with it; Simple solution to drama - keep your mouth shut!

We live in a strange world where the poor walk miles to get food, and the rich walk miles to digest food.

Health food makes me sick.