Quotes About Relationships

So I said, 'Where do you want to go for your anniversary?' She said: 'I want to go somewhere I've never been before.' I said, 'Try the kitchen.'

My wife was fitted with a coil. For about 18 months I hated it! She used to pick up CB signals.

It's much easier to turn a friendship into love, than love into friendship.

Win hearts, and you have hands and purses.

Every murderer is probably somebody's old friend.

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.

My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty-one.

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age.

As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

One man's folly is another man's wife.

Most women set out to try to change a man, and when they have changed him they do not like him.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

I think serial monogamy says it all.

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse.

One of life's greatest mysteries is how the boy who wasn't good enough to marry your daughter can be the father of the smartest grandchild in the world

Why do single women take advice from other single women? That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions.

Just because I like your Facebook status does not mean I want to sleep, date, or hangout with you...

Myspace is my ex husband, Facebook is my baby daddy, Twitter is my ho and I'm in a serious relationship with Instagram.

If your girlfriend complains that you never take her anywhere expensive...take her to the gas station.

If you see a guy opening a car door for a girl, its one of two things, either a new girl, or a new car!