Quotes About Comedy

I really love showing up at work at 10 A.M., trying to make it funny until 3 P.M., and then going home. It's like comedy bankers' hours.

When I have had a long day at work, I want something to watch that is funny, lighthearted and easy to get into, and reality is that. I'm not really into serious programmes or documentaries.

Life sucks when your girlfriend won't!

Scientists have discovered that the longer people stay married, the more they begin to look alike. After 25 years you better start putting name tags in your underwear.

May your Valentine's Day dinner have the romantic lighting of a stadium blackout.

You know it's a bad day when you put your bra on backwards and it fits better.

Hey! Quit hogging all the ugly!

There is a fine line between what is funny and disrespectful.

Being fat isn't so bad.. fat people are harder to kidnap!!

Common ground is good. Being misunderstood, thats not good. Sometimes humor is good...Sometimes misunderstood...

Making self-deprecating jokes about your sex life is the fastest way to win a place in my heart.

Humor explained is humor denied

My New Years resolution list usually starts with the desire to lose between 10 and 3,000 pounds.

My advice, Be healthy, reach your own goals and don't be afraid to impersonate a SNL star...

Chandler: I'm not so good with the advice... Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

Things seem a little prickly between the two comics. Stephen Fry is the next player out and the two of them end up in a cash game back at the hotel. I hear that Fry gets the better of Gervais again, is not above a few cheeky put-downs when he wins the pot, and Gervais snaps, 'I might be bad at poker, but at least I'm not gay.

Then what in your opinion is a good story?' 'What it's always been, monkey,' Ganesha said. 'One dhansu conflict. Some chaka-chak song and dance. Grief. Love. Love for the lover, love for the mother. Love for the land. Comedy. Terror. One tremendous villain whom we must love also. All the elements properly balanced and mixed together, item after item, like a perfect meal with a dance of tastes. There you have it.

Even he who laughs best can be hurt by a jest.

God is a comedian playing to an audience that is too afraid to laugh.

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

I was the first comic in world history, so they told me, to pick fights with children.

I like children - fried.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.