Quotes About Comedy

I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.

Is not the decisive difference between comedy and tragedy that tragedy denies us another chance?

When people come to see my stand-up, they get a chance to see my characters interact with each other.

If you can't write your own material, you have very little chance of making it as a comedian.

You have to take the chance to bomb and disappoint audiences.

Look, I had to take chances or it wasn't fun being funny.

I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.

I find I've always been judgmental about comedy (laughs) and it's hard to turn that off, really. But what constant exposure to live comedy does is it makes you give people a second chance.

I made a terrible mistake last Christmas. My wife made me swear that I wouldn't give her a fancy gift. And I didn't.

My husband is so cheap. On Christmas Eve, he fires one shot and tells the kids Santa committed suicide.

You know you've had too much to eat for Christmas dinner when you slump down onto a beanbag and realize... there is no beanbag.

The hard part about SNL is, there's no real communication when you get there. It's not like people are mean to you, they just act like you're not there.

Humor and seriousness can be an unstable mix.

Not since Jimmy Carr have I seen a cold computer programme on stage generate so much laughter.

Comics, a lot of them, are really depressed people, and I happen to be somebody that does have a lot of confidence. That's the odd thing about my stand-up. I am very confident. I always was.

My day jobs... I knew I was bad at those, so I didn't really have the confidence to think that I could do comedy. But I knew I hated the day jobs.

Being funny, it turns out, is like being a bank. It's a confidence trick. As long as everyone believes in you, you are fine.

If you have to explain your sense of humor, then you are performing for the wrong crowd.

I felt a comedy ego beginning to grow which gave me the courage to begin tentatively looking into myself for material.

Every Sunday my dad calls to ask if I went to church. And every Sunday I lie and say: Sorry. Wrong Number.

My dad is one of the funniest people I know. He's the sort of man who can make you laugh just by reading out of a telephone directory... He's a spastic.

I kind of was raised at The Comedy Store by comedians. When you see my dad on stage before me and then you see me, you'll see where I got a lot of my stuff.

You might be a redneck if you give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday.

I tell ya, I was an ugly kid. I was so ugly that my dad kept the kid's picture that came with the wallet he bought.