Quotes About Wit

I'm used to sort of improvising a lot when I do my comedies.

I love inappropriate humour.

If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny.

La prima: mai scegliere l'umorismo se non siamo certi di saperlo maneggiare. L'ironia è la sorella laica della misericordia; il sarcasmo, il fratello antipatico dell'intelligenza.

The man with the real sense of humor is the man who can put himself in the spectator's place and laugh at his own misfortune.

I'm going to do what any self-respecting English major would do: pull something out of my ass.

I am neither Christian enough nor charitable enough to like anybody just because he is alive and breathing. I want people to interest or amuse me. I want them fascinating and witty or so dull as to be different. I want them either intellectually stimulating or wonderfully corny; perfectly charming or hundred percent stinker. I like my chosen companions to be distinguishable from the undulating masses and I don't care how.

I like bawdy humor. I love bawdy humor, but not dirty humor.

I kid around a lot, but pranks are not my best strength!

Well, I mean, if a joke or humor is bawdy, it's got to be funny enough to warrant it. You can't just have it bawdy or dirty just for the sake of being that - it's got to be funny.

To be comic is merely to be playful, but wit is a serious matter. To laugh at it is to confess that you do not understand.

I don't just try to be funny.

We're the geniuses of the house because only a person intelligent as we could fake such stupidity.

when confronted by small men doing big and stupid things, we need to resist with all the creativity and wit we can muster, and if we can do so without losing the civility that makes life enjoyable, then so much the better.

Humor is everywhere, in that there's irony in just about anything a human does.

Don't start that shit (laughs)

You want me to say something about Bill? Bill who? Bill Schroeder? Never heard of him… I'm kidding, of course.

I don't trust these stairs because they are always up to something.

If I asked for a cup of coffee, someone would search for the double meaning.

He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher... or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.

Are you stalking me? Because that would be super.

Phil Hartman was brilliant, and Dave Foley is a really funny guy. Phil Hartman was actually even funnier offstage than he was onstage because he would say nasty things. Dave Foley's very funny, very witty guy, very quick.

My dear, did you ever stop to think what a wonderful bunker you would make?

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.