Quotes About Wit

Mirabelle knows, and she lets this be unspoken, that all free things require conversation. Sitting in a darkened movie theatre requires absolutely no conversation at all, whereas a free date, like a walk down Hollywood Boulevard in the busy evening, requires comments, chatter, observations, and with luck, wit. She worries that since they have only exchanged perhaps two dozen words between them, these free dates will be horrible.

a real scholar with a bright pen

If you ask an Irishman for directions, he might be quick to answer, Well if I were going there, I would not start here.

There is a joke about a little girl who is filling in a hole in her garden when a neighbor looks over the fence. He politely asks, Hi! What are you up to? My goldfish died, replies the girl tearfully, and I've just buried him. The neighbor asks, Isn't that an awfully big hole for a goldfish? The little girl tamps down the soil and replies, That's because he's inside your stupid cat.

The realization of the perfect riposte three hours after the argument: hindser, stairwit, retrotort, afterism.

l'esprit de l'escalier

A reporter once sent Cary Grant the telegram, "How old Cary Grant?" He replied, "Old Cary Grant fine.

sarchasm n. The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

I've always tried to be funny, or stupid, or whatever. I love making people laugh and I think it comes quite naturally to me.

The love of truth lies at the root of much humor.

We have no desire to make anybody look like a blithering idiot, but we do love it when they do.

Don't fall in love with your wit. Your cleverly turned phrase may not, as you hope, show off how much gray matter you have, especially if the phrase is at someone else's expense.

He was my equal in beauty, a paragon of grace and charm, sparkling with wit, and burning with love. I adored him to distraction, to the point of idolatry: I loved him as one can never love twice.

If anyone tells me I'm fat, I say, - That's because every time I make love to your wife, she gives me a biscuit

When I want to end a relationship I just say, 'You know, I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have your children.' Sometimes they leave skid marks.

Howard Zinn was magical as a teacher. Witty, irreverent, and wise, he loved what he was teaching and clearly wanted his students to love it, also.

I love visual gags and gimmicks; I love them.

Because I am about to be devoured by poodles," I quip. "Remember me always, my love.

I love an act that makes fun of the situation, and of course makes fun of yourself. That's important, you can't take yourself too seriously.

The delivery of dead-on one-liners is rare in the nonscripted world. Usually, they occur to you only afterward, at which point, of course, they're completely worthless.

Good nature is more agreeable in conversation than wit, and gives a certain air to the countenance which is more amiable than beauty.

If we may believe our logicians, man is distinguished from all other creatures by the faculty of laughter.

I shall endeavor to enliven morality with wit, and to temper wit with morality.

Nothing is so much admired, and so little understood, as wit.