Quotes About Wit

I believe I've met your grandfather, the Bloody Butcher of Odar. That's correct. I remember now. A delightful man, wonderfully dry sense of humor. Arland blinked. My grandfather has been called many names in his lifetime. Delightful was not one of them. He remembers you also. You tried to poison him. Caldenia waved her fingers. I've tried to poison everyone at one time or another. Don't take it personally.

I would try being friends with her, but she's too busy being a smartass. Now you know how the rest of us feel, Jim said.

I opened my eyes really wide and fluttered my eyelashes at him. I'm sorry, I must've missed your coronation ceremony. Silly me. from Clean Sweep

I'm screamingly funny, you know, I really am in the books. And that helps because I'm funnier than a lot of people, I think, and that's appreciated by young people.

Wit is more necessary than beauty; and I think no young woman ugly that has it, and no handsome woman agreeable without it.

If you can make me laugh, my heart is yours! I think there's nothing more attractive than someone who doesn't take themselves too seriously.

A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.

If you set the attractiveness bar really low, people have to compliment you on your looks when they meet you in person. I'm pretty much a genius. I'm actually applying to work at the Genius Bar based on this trick.

I'm not known for my intellectual range and tricks have been played on me.

Mathematicians are always playing tricks on each other. They're always pulling jokes on each other.

I just always remember there being an ability to amuse schoolmates. Not in a kind of 'dance-around-at-the-front-of-the-room-with-his-trousers-off' way, but probably with a sardonic quip. I remember getting a school report that said something like, 'Steve's good, but he tries to see the funny side in everything.'

There is a single entendre, but I don't know about a triple one.

Our comedy was light-hearted amusement that seemingly tripped naturally off the tongue. That's why I don't think it will date.

The laughter of the aphorism is sometimes triumphant, but seldom carefree.

Light, trivial comedy does not appeal - it is not something I go to see.

The trouble with most comedians who try to do satire is that they are essentially brash, noisy and indelicate people who have to use a sledge hammer to smash a butterfly.

You know when Jerry Ford gets the best joke, you know you're in trouble.

I was the troublemaker, always being funny - that's just who I am.

I detest jokes - when somebody tells me one, I feel my IQ dropping; the brain cells start to disappear. But something is funny when the person delivering the line doesn't know it's funny or doesn't treat it as a joke. Maybe it comes from a place of truth, or it's a sort of rage against society.

I can be glib and truthful all at once.

It has to come from a truthful place in order to be funny.

Banter is often a proof of want of intelligence.

To Harry Secombe: I hope you die first as I don't want you singing at my funeral.

To me, the highest expression of life is art with jokes. It's very rarified, very difficult to accomplish if you want to be more than just funny, and more than just jokes about human gaseousness.