Quotes About Wit

Many would live by their Wits, but break for want of Stock.

All really frank people are amusing, and would remain so if they could remember that other people may sometimes want to be frank and amusing too.

It's just easier to make fun and cut down. It's kind of a way of life in America. If you can make people want to hear what you're going to say, it can be cruel and funny.

You want me here. (Artemis) Yeah, like an alien rectal probe up my sphincter.' (Acheron)

I actually write some pretty tough jokes. I don't want to push the "soft" angle too much.

Sometimes people say, do you want a drink? And I say, oh, I'd like to, but I'm a tragic alcoholic. I always say tragic. I'm a tragic alcoholic.

As in smooth oil the razor best is whet, So wit is by politeness sharpest set; Their want of edge from their offence is seen, Both pain us least when exquisitely keen.

Were I not so self-centered, I'd be intrigued. - Tehol Beddict

As the middle son, I of course represent the perfect balance. Wit, physical prowess and a multitude of talents to match my natural grace. When combined with my extraordinary ability to waste it all, you see, standing before you, the exquisite culmination.

Wits enough to be curious, not smart enough to be cautious.

The man is a drunk with a drunk's bloated self-image – Abyss knows, drunks think themselves clever, and measure the prowess of their wit by the genius of their rationalizations. Of course, the first fool they deceive is themselves.

There were loves in the world that never found voice. There were secrets never unveiled, and what would have been the point of that? She was no languid beauty. She was no genius wit. Courage failed her again and again, but not this time, as she drew sharp blades lengthways up her wrists, at precise angles, and watched as life flowed away. In Irilta's mind, this last gesture was but a formality.

Such is the vastness of his genius that he can outwit even himself.

I was born by Cesarean section, but you can't really tell. Except that when I leave my house, I always go out the window.

I want to get a tattoo of myself on my entire body, only two inches taller.

I love to go shopping. I love to freak out salespeople. They ask me if they can help me, and I say, "Have you got anything I'd like?" Then they ask me what size I need, and I say, "Extra medium."

I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.

I have an inferiority complex, but it's not a very good one.

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

Everyone who believes in psychokinesis raise my hand.

I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.