Quotes About Wit

My method is to take the utmost trouble to find the right thing to say, and then to say it with the utmost levity.

When a ham actor told George Jessel "I'm a sensation at the Roxy. Last night I had the audience glued to their seats," Jessel snapped, "Wonderful! How clever of you to think of it."

Cat: a-cute-puncturist.

She doesn't like you, McNab. "I knoooow. I find that really attractive in a woman.

Please, Eve, these public displays of affection must stop. I have a reputation." "Keep it up, ace, and I'll give you a public display of affection that'll have you limping for a week." "Now I'm excited.

Peabody:] Bite me. Though Eve managed to swallow a chuckle at her aide's use of her own standard response to annoyances, she didn't quite make it over McNab's cheerful, Where?

I speak sarcasm fluently.

I got a weakness for the sizzle, and the smarts. I don't care what chromosomes somebody's got, I just go for sizzle or smarts. Somebody's got both? I'm a goner.

Comes off like she's got the mental capacity of broccoli

Peabody, am I an ass-kicker? Are you asking to see my scars, or is that a trick question? Shut up, Peabody

Bella: Then why are you wearing that bandage like a sash? Phury: It makes my ass look smaller.

The guy stroked his goatee. What do you call twenty guys watching the world series? The New York Yankees, Butch replied.

Besides, you don't look a thing like him. I mean… hello? You're this beefy Irish white boy. He's like… bus exhaust or some shit.

Besides, you don't look a thing like him. I mean…hello? You're this beefy Irish white boy. He's like…bus exhaust or some shit.

The beautiful thing about comedy in the U.K. is that it has a clever twist to it, and when you really break it down, the joke isn't filthy at all: it's clever.

On Twitter, I just want to make you laugh at all costs.

I still love a well-crafted joke. Twitter's been great for that.

Once you get my snark going, I'll just start snarking it up all over Twitter.

I have a face that is a cross between two pounds of halibut and an explosion in an old clothes closet.

Jesse Tyler Ferguson is probably one of the funniest people I've ever met in my life. Everything the kid does is funny. I think he tunes his life to being funny.

I don't have a type. I am more of a sapiosexual person. The girl has to be intelligent.

I don't really have a type. I don't want to be a cliche. But personality is a big thing for me. You can find cute guys all over. But he's got to have some sort of sense of humor, which is so hard to find in a guy. He's got to be a bit smart.

I'm a very observational type of comedian that points out everyday absurdities.

I'm not the type of guy who's funny in the room. I'm the guy who's funny late at night on a computer, trying to construct jokes.