Quotes About Wit

The man with the real sense of humor is the man who can put himself in the spectator's place and laugh at his own misfortune.

I will be brief. Not nearly so brief as Salvador Dali, who gave the world's shortest speech. He said I will be so brief I have already finished, and he sat down.

You spell Bob Hope C-L-A-S-S.

I think, for me, humour needs to be used like a strong spice - sparingly.

Being nice can be funny. A lot of my jokes are like, 'Let me take a bad situation and try to put the best spin on it.'

I feel like my comedy voice is to take the news and everything that's happening and put a funny spin on it or to pick out the things I find funny about it.

All I know how to do is take what's on my mind and spit it out funny. I don't know what else I could do besides comedy.

The fellow who laughs last may laugh best, but he gets the reputation of being very slow-witted.

How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own?

Bad divorce?" Hardy asked, his gaze falling to my hands. I realized I was clutching my purse in a death grip. "No, the divorce was great," I said. "It was the marriage that sucked.

Absolutely nothing was happening in my marriage. I nicknamed my waterbed, Lake Placid!

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is at all times? A widow.

The world is divided into men who have wit and no religion and men who have religion and no wit.

I don't need an Iron Man suit. I'm already a weapon of mass seduction.

To create man was a quaint and original idea, but to add the sheep was tautology.

I like smart, funny, self-deprecating men.

I have no more pleasure in hearing a man attempting wit and failing, than in seeing a man trying to leap over a ditch and tumbling into it

A woman of haughty and fierce carriage, of a nimble wit and active spirit, a very voluble tongue, more bold than a man.

I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave no tern unstoned.

In fact, to gull a fool seems to me an exploit worthy of a witty man.

Ladies & Gentelman, the man who tought William Kennedy Smith everything he knows about dating, Sweet Stan Lane!

That which we call wit consists much in quickness and tricks, and is so full of lightness that it seldom goes with judgment and solidity; but when they do meet, it is commonly in an honest man.

There is an element of seduction in shoes that doesn't exist for men. A woman can be sexy, charming, witty or shy with her shoes.

Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor.