Quotes About Wit

Old Madame du Deffand and her friends talked for fifty years without stopping. And of it all, what remains? Perhaps three witty sayings. So that we are at liberty to suppose either that nothing was said, or that nothing witty was said, or that the fraction of three witty sayings lasted eighteen thousand two hundred and fifty nights, which does not leave a liberal allowance of wit for any one of them.

Never go up against a Sicilian when death, is on the line.....ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha..........(thump)

I liked, as I like still, to make words look self-conscious and foolish, to bind them by mock marriage of a pun, to turn them inside out, to come upon them unawares. What is this jest in majesty? This ass in passion? How do god and devil combine to form a live dog?

I discovered there was an endless source of robust enjoyment in trifling with psychiatrists.

It is funnier to bend things than to break them.

Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it.

That's my girl," he murmured. "I'm not your girl." "Well," he said not bothering to hide his smile from her sightless eyes, "the good news is that the honey gave you back your sparkling personality." "And the bad news?" "The honey gave you back your sparkling personality.

Oh, it does," he said, thinking of Azagoth and his pitch-black sense of humor. "You just don't want to be on the funny side of it.

Writing voice isn't as much a function of thinking as it is something that eludes definition and therefore assimilation.  The more artful flavors of prose are more often a function of intuition and imitation fused with heart and wit and delivered with a strong does of lyric sensibility. It

I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.'

A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.

Hey, you know the difference between an porcupine and a Porshe?" She gave him a wary look. "What?" "A porcupine has pricks on the outside.

Can the sarcasm,' he said. 'Please, I always use fresh sarcasm, never canned.

Can the sarcasm,' he said. 'Please, I always use fresh sarcasm, never canned.

Some days I am all about the ironic gesture

Dude you say the best stuff. You're so getting lucky.

Have a great day!" she sang as she left, flashing just the quickest middle finger as she walked past

It is a truth universally acknowledged that one only comes up with clever, cutting remarks long after the other party is happily slumbering away.

Remember to include humor in your life. Laughter is mandatory.

The very essence of gravity was design, and consequently deceit… it was no better, but often worse, than what a French wit had long ago defined it,—viz., A mysterious carriage of the body to cover the defects of the mind.

For every ten jokes - thou hast got an hundred enemies...

Will I stop describing, as only a true Southerner can, a truly awful physical appearance as simply "most unfortunate" as in, "She has a most unfortunate nose"?

Poesy is a beauteous damsel, chaste, honourable, discreet, witty, retired, and who keeps herself within the limits of propriety. She is a friend of solitude; fountains entertain her, meadows console her, woods free her from ennui, flowers delight her; in short, she gives pleasure and instruction to all with whom she communicates.

Ha," I said. "Oh, ha-ha. Yeah, 'cause they love me. You see how many vampires are up here? Zero, right?" One," said Eric, stepping out of the stairwell.