Quotes About Wit

Talleyrand, talking of a man who dealt in nothing but quotations, said, "That man has a mind of inverted commas."

Sarcasm is the sour cream of wit.

He started a sarcastic smile, but quenched it, according to the etiquette of his profession.

I'm allergic to stupidity — I break out in sarcasm.

Honey, tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic.

I'm fluent in bad puns and sarcasm.

Talking to oneself, I have often thought, is the best way to be sure of intelligent and witty conversation.

It wasn't a beautiful face. But it was a nice face. It wasn't a face that could launch a thousand ships. Maybe two ships and a small yacht.

For much of the ride to Maingate, Jade thought about Agent Travers. He found her severity amusing, and once he got out on the highway, he actually laughed out loud. His laugh came in three descendent atonal notes. He didn't laugh much, but when he did, it was always the same. Travers had a quick mouth and a caustic wit that rivaled his own. And clearly, she could get extremely pissed off in a hurry. A few times, Jade had seen her clamp down her teeth to hold her temper inside.

Puns are the gag hand buzzers of conversation. It hurts a bit but everyone gets a good laugh out of it.

Die, my dear? Why that's the last thing I'll do!

I never forget a face, but in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception.

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

Room service? Send up a larger room." [ A Night at the Opera ]

Groucho: You know I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world? Woman: Really? Groucho: No, but I don't mind lying if it gets me somewhere.

Die, my dear? Why that's the last thing I'll do!

If I hold you any closer I'll be in back of you!

You know you haven't stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.

I have had a wonderful time but this wasn't it.

Why don't you bore a hole in yourself and let the sap run out?

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

That's three quotes? Add another quote and make it a gallon.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

Puns are a form of humor with words.