Quotes About Wit

You know, you are a classic example of the inverse ratio between the size of the mouth and the size of the brain.

I like a very dry wit, not the big kind of humor like Robin Williams. I don't think I'm capable of that.

He laughs. 'And then I was in between dreaming and waking up this morning, and I said to Ayda, "What have I got in common with a scarecrow?" She went, "What?" And I said, "I'm outstanding in my field.

Humour is the courtesy of despair

I do like dating cynics - they tend to be incredibly funny.

Kierkegaard - L'ironie, dit-on, consiste à parler légèrement de choses graves, l'humour à parler gravement de choses légères.

Next to being witty, the best thing is being able to quote another's wit.

At all events, the next best thing to being witty one's self, is to be able to quote another's wit.

The next best thing to being witty one's self, is to be able to quote another's wit.

What's your natural color, if you don't mind my asking?" "I don't mind," Molly says. "It's dark brown." "Well, my natural color is red." It takes Molly a moment to realize she's making a little joke about being gray. "I like what you've done with it," she parries. "It suits you.

a soulmate of exquisite taste, intellect and wit.

I have at least three virtues. How many have you got?

The German is like the slave who, without chains, obeys his masters merest word, his very glance. The condition of servitude is inherent in him, in his very soul and worse than the physical is the spiritual slavery. The Germans must be set free from wit

God will forgive me. It's his job." Heine said this on his deathbed (1856). Hilarious. He must have thought that up years before and counted the seconds to use it.

You've got to have brains to play dumb.

the only thing with less character than Chardonnay is wainscoting.

Etiquette for phone solicitors: "Helen Michelle, the way you stop someone from calling again is by saying, 'Thank you so much for calling, but I've just murdered my husband and need to finish digging a hole in the backyard. Good-bye.

My sense of humor will be a ray of sunshine if our plane death-spirals into the frozen tundra

Laugh a little when the joke's on you

I wanted to say, with as much sarcasm as I could put into my voice, "Sir, your poem is both original and interesting, but the part that is interesting is not original, and the part that is original is not interesting." But all I said was, "Not bad, you need to work on it some more.

This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.

Clever men will recognize and tolerate nothing but cleverness.

He had however one great advantage over both his Pilgrim and Puritan enemies, for he wrote a narrative of his adventures in a reckless and amusing fashion of which they were incapable, and thus has kept the laugh forever on his side.

Flattery is never so agreeable as to our blind side; commend a fool for his wit, or a knave for his honesty, and they will receive you into their bosoms