Quotes About Wit

Be assured, I do not suffer from a sense of humor.

May we generally be happy, generally be witty, generally be honest, but above all always be interesting.

I made my Facebook name "Benefits," so when you add me now it says "you're friends with benefits."

My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary column.

My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my age.

I think that you are only obliged to be a humorist from the age of 18 until you turn 30. Past the age of 30 I don't think there is any obligation to be clever at all.

If the men of wit and genius would resolve never to complain in their works of critics and detractors, the next age would not know that they ever had any.

Can't you... I don't. Find a hobby or something?" "Being charming is my hobby.

A lot of my humor does come from anger. It's like, you're not gonna pull one over on me - which is pretty much my motto anyways.

Reported as Oscar Wilde's last words on his death bed... This wallpaper is killing me. One of us has to go.

Any woman who is sure of her own wits is a match at any time for a man who is not sure of his own temper.

Now, Betteredge, exert those sharp wits of yours, and observe the conclusion to which the Colonel's instructions point! I instantly exerted my wits. They were of the slovenly English sort; and they consequently muddled it all

Mr. Bruff, you have no more imagination than a cow!" "A cow is a very useful animal, Mr. Blake," said the lawyer.

Protestantism and beer have dulled German wit.

A funny yet interesting read, Will Self knowa his stuff and must do a lot of deep research.

One no more owes one's beauty to a lover than one's wit to an echo

who thus translated the Chickasaw title meaning The Man; which translation Ikkemotubbe, himself a man of wit and imagination as well as a shrewd judge of character, including his own, carried it one step further and anglicised it to Doom.

You are the artiste of the slightly funny deal.

Duhhhhhhh, tanks, Buttercup.

Poetry is only the highest eloquence of passion, the most vivid form of expression that can be given to our conception of anything, whether pleasurable or painful, mean or dignified, delightful or distressing. It is the perfect coincidence of the image and the words with the feeling we have, and of which we cannot get rid in any other way, that gives an instant satisfaction to the thought. This is equally the origin of wit and fancy, of comedy and tragedy, of the sublime and pathetic.

Oh, yes. I'm terribly smart. Wouldn't it have been nice... to be intelligent?

I thought of a bad pun: "I'm going from bad to Hearst.

One never needs their humor as much as when they argue with a fool.

Hey, have you heard that one about the difference between me, Wit, and my loutish cousin, Hilarity? No? Okay, so I walk into a bar, you see, very unassuming, and order a martini. Then the bartender, Hilarity, hauls off and squirts me in the face with a seltzer bottle, ruining my n ice new camel hair suit, dousing my monocle and my watch fob, soaking my cravat. So, do I let him have what for, and blow my top? I do not. I simply say: Sorry, I believe I said 'very dry'.