Quotes About Wit

JACK: For heaven's sake, don't try to be cynical. It's perfectly easy to be cynical. ALGERNON: My dear fellow, it isn't easy to be anything nowadays. There's such a lot of beastly competition about.

Here are two chairs; let us sit down and see the smart people go by.

though the conversation always touched an exceptionally high level of brilliance, there was apt to be a good deal of sugar thrown about.

Right ho, Jeeves.

He's not the brightest crayola in the pack.

Clearly, the Goddess has a sense of humor.

Yes, I'm married, but I'm not a corpse.

Heath was still Heath--cute, but not the brightest Crayola in the pack.

In a series of events, all of which had been a bit thick, this, in his opinion, achieved the maximum of thickness.

You're one of those guys who can make a party just by leaving it. It's a great gift.

This was not Aunt Dahlia, my good and kindly aunt, but my Aunt Agatha, the one who chews broken bottles and kills rats with her teeth.

How does he look, Jeeves? Sir? What does Mr Bassington-Bassington look like? It is hardly my place, sir, to criticize the facial peculiarities of your friends.

I pity the shrimp that matches wits with you Jeeves

Honoria, you see, is one of those robust, dynamic girls with the muscles of a welter-weight and a laugh like a squadron of cavalry charging over a tin bridge. A beastly thing to have to face over the breakfast table. Brainy, moreover. The sort of girl who reduces you to pulp with sixteen sets of tennis and a few rounds of golf and then comes down to dinner as fresh as a daisy, expecting you to take an intelligent interest in Freud.

Liz, said Mr. Cootes, lost in admiration, when it comes to doping out a scheme, you're the snake's eyebrows!

There's a sort of wooly headed duckiness about you. If I wasn't so crazy about Marmaduke, I could really marry you Bertie.

I couldn't have made a better shot, if I had been one of those detectives who see a chap walking along the street and deduce that he is a retired manufacturer of poppet valves named Robinson with rheumatism in one arm, living at Clapham.

Good Lord, Jeeves! Is there anything you don't know?' 'I couldn't say, sir.

He looks much more like a lobster than most lobsters do.

It's brain, I said; pure brain! What do you do to get like that, Jeeves? I believe you must eat a lot of fish, or something. Do you eat a lot of fish, Jeeves? No, sir. Oh, well, then, it's just a gift, I take it; and if you aren't born that way there's no use worrying.

Would you say my head was like a pumpkin, Wooster?' 'Not a bit, old man.' 'Not like a pumpkin?' 'No, not like a pumpkin. A touch of the dome of St Paul's, perhaps.

Lord Chesterfield said that since he had had the full use of his reason nobody had heard him laugh. I don't suppose you have read Lord Chesterfield's 'Letters To His Son'? ...Well, of course I hadn't. Bertram Wooster does not read other people's letters. If I were employed in the post office I wouldn't even read the postcards.

I have always had a suspicion that Aunt Dahlia, while invariably matey and bonhomous and seeming to take pleasure in my society, has a lower opinion of my intelligence than I quite like. Too often it is her practice to address me as 'fathead', and if I put forward any little thought or idea or fancy in her hearing it is apt to be greeted with the affectionate but jarring guffaw.

Come on, he said. Bring the poker. I brought the tongs as well. I felt like it.