Quotes About Wit

Get it? Foul. Not one of my subtler jokes, but it'll do.

he always got a lot of fun of acting like the other half of a half-wit ? Dashiell Hammett, The Dain Curse, ch XX

What was that joke about a guy being so thin he had to stand in the same place twice to throw a shadow?

Puns are little plays on words that a certain breed of person loves to spring on you and then look at you in a certain self-satisfied way to indicate that he thinks that you must think that he is by far the cleverest person on Earth now that Benjamin Franklin is dead, when in fact what you are thinking is that if this person ever ends up in a lifeboat, the other passengers will hurl him overboard by the end of the first day even if they have plenty of food and water.

Thanks to my solid academic training, today I can write hundreds of words on virtually any topic without possessing a shred of information, which is how I got a good job in journalism.

Always remember that if editors were so damned smart, they would know how to dress.

There are things I've given up on Like recording funny answering machine messages. It's part of growing older And the human race as a group has matured along the same lines. It seems our comedy dates the quickest. If you laugh out loud at Shakespeare's jokes I hope you won't be insulted if I say you're trying too hard. Even sketches from the original Saturday Night Live seem slow-witted and obvious now.

You're impossible, she told him. Of course I am, he answered. It's part of my charm.

Look down your shirt and spell attic.

conspicuously perched in the eye of a bad party's somewhat forced-feeling storm of wit and good cheer

the man was so cross-eyed he could stand in the middle of the week and see both Sundays.

Better a witty fool, than a foolish wit.

Many a true word hath been spoken in jest.

In jest, there is truth.

This fellow is wise enough to play the fool; And to do that well craves a kind of wit: He must observe their mood on whom he jests, The quality of persons, and the time, And, like the haggard, check at every feather That comes before his eye. This is a practise As full of labour as a wise man's art For folly that he wisely shows is fit; But wise men, folly-fall'n, quite taint their wit.

The small amount of foolery wise men have makes a great show.

Come, lady, come; you have lost the heart of Signior Benedick. BEATRICE Indeed, my lord, he lent it me awhile; and I gave him use for it, a double heart for his single one: marry, once before he won it of me with false dice, therefore your grace may well say I have lost it. DON PEDRO You have put him down, lady, you have put him down. BEATRICE So I would not he should do me, my lord, lest I should prove the mother of fools.

Watch out he's winding the watch of his wit, by and by it will strike.

I may chance have some odd quirks and remnants of wit broken on me, because I have railed so long against marriage: but doth not the appetite alter? a man loves the meat in his youth that he cannot endure in his age. Shall quips and sentences and these paper bullets of the brain awe a man from the career of his humour? No, the world must be peopled. When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not think I should live till I were married.

His jest shall savour but a shallow wit, when thousands more weep than did laugh it.

I am not only witty in myself, but the cause that wit is in other men.

This rudeness is a sauce to his good wit, Which gives men stomach to digest his words With better appetite.

Some grief shows much of love, But much of grief shows still some want of wit.

For what says Quinapalus? Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.