Quotes About Wit

You need to be silly to be funny.

The first ingredient in conversation is truth, the next good sense, the third good humor, and the fourth wit.

Wit is more necessary than beauty and I think no young woman ugly that has it, and no handsome woman agreeable without it.

He's a fool that marries, but he's a greater that does not marry a fool; what is wit in a wife good for, but to make a man a cuckold?

What I want to do is make people laugh so that they'll see things seriously.

Cunning authors cut to be quoted.

The Yale president must be a Yale man. Not too far to the right, too far to the left or a middle-of-the-roader. Ready to give the ultimate word on every subject under the sun from how to handle the Russians to why undergraduates riot in the spring. Profound with a wit that bubbles up and brims over in a cascade of brilliance. You may have guessed who the leading candidate is, but there is a question about him Is God a Yale man

A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.

Lady Astor: Sir, if you were my husband I would put arsenic in your tea! Churchill: If I were your husband I would drink it!

A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.

Maybe I am a idiot, but at least I ain't stupid

I beg you most humbly to go on loving me just a little and to make do with these poor congratulations until I get some new drawers made for my small and narrow brainbox in which I can keep the brains that I still intend to acquire.

Some guy hit my car fender the other day, and I said unto him, "Be fruitful and multiply." But not in those words.

Some guy hit my fender the other day, and I said unto him, "Be fruitful, and multiply." But not in those words.

My brain? It's my second favorite organ.

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

Josh likes to say he put the funk in 'functional'. Personally I think he just put the ass in 'embarrassing', but, hey, what do I know?

John F. Kennedy responded, as he often did when at his best, skillfully mixing dollops of wit with, self-deprecation, and the principle of not-really-going-near-the-question.

To Dewey, if brevity was the soul of wit, stagecraft was the very center of politics.

WHEN you are creeping through the literary underbrush hoping to bag a piece of humor with your net, nothing seems funny," Russell Baker wrote in a preface to an anthology of American humor that he compiled. "The thing works the other way around. Humor is funny when it sneaks up on you and takes you by surprise." Yes

Good humor isn't a trait of character, it is an art which requires practice.

What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny.

If you aren't cute, you may as well be clever.

It's funny because it's funny.