Quotes About Celebrity

One thing that is almost always said to me is, I grew up with you. They are meeting me and feel that they actually grew up with me. I was with them during their play hours and thinking hours. I was a part of their childhoods. That's one of the most amazing things.

The president's stump speeches could carry the forced air of a Van Halen reunion tour with Sammy Hagar in for David Lee Roth.

The southern residents are the most photographed, filmed, recorded, and documented mammals on the planet who aren't either running a country or headlining Hollywood blockbusters.

Jesus, man. Why do people want to be Paris Hilton and nobody wants to be Spider-Man?

Arguably, poor Oscar was merely an early failed and somewhat overweight prototype for Morrissey.

The world does not need a 'gay Elvis', for the original, with his black leather suit, pomaded pompadour, come-fuck-me eyes and radiant narcissism, was quite queer enough

The lead singer of Creed says he won't endorse President Obama. Well that settles it -- Obama will not win the 1998 presidential election.

Chris Elliott could read the phonebook and he's funny.

What strikes me as funny about Elvis is that all the impersonators choose to do the Vegas Elvis; not the young, cool guy, always the bloated fool.

I miss being able to wake up when I want and go on stage when I want and pull down my pants when I want.

Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom.

Heath Slater, or the chick from Wendy's

It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world

Hollywood, we decided, was a nice place to die, but we wouldn't want to live there.

Hollywood called me, asking me, "How much to do a movie with Farrah Fawcett?" "$50,000" They called back, "How about $20,000?" I said, "I'll pay it!"

The 'Billionaire' song is what my kids tease me with. They sing it to me. It's funny.

The embarrassing thing is that my salad dressing is out-grossing my films.

Not that they were that anxious to see Ronnie as President; they were afraid if he didn't get elected, he'd go back to acting.

Here's a picture of me with REM. That's me in the corner.

My hair has never been my greatest feature, so that was funny enough unto itself that my hair became so focused on.

Beethoven can't really be great because his picture isn't on a bubble gum card.

I'm like a fatter version of Amy Winehouse and a skinnier version of Lily Allen.

I have to tell you I enjoy Jon Stewart. That's the truth. I actually think he's very funny. I've paid to see him do his stand-up routine.

It's funny that people think because you don't have a movie or record out, you disappear into a frozen chamber someplace. They think you're dead when you're not in the public eye.