Quotes About Surprise

In cross examination, as in fishing, nothing is more ungainly than a fisherman pulled into the water by his catch.

It's looks like someone slapped you in the face with a fruit roll-up or something!

When I first saw a strap on, I put it on my head and ran around like a rhino.

If you take off your pants and her first reaction is, "Awwww, look at it...like a little baby Jesus." Time to buy a Porsche.

I find his films about as funny as getting an arrow through the neck and discovering there's a gas bill tied to it.

No matter what time of year it's always funny when a person walks by me dressed in religious garb and I say Happy Halloween!

I gave my girlfriend something she didn't expect for Valentine's day... Chlamydia.

I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.

What is that mountain goat doing way up here in the clouds?

I've got a bit of Scottish Blood... On my kitchen knife!!

One time when somebody showed up in a wedding dress, but I never knew if it was a joke, or she was serious. She asked me to marry her. She was serious. It was pretty funny.

A funny thing happened on the way to the election - I got to the Senate first.

It was funny that you know someone for years but still discover something you never noticed before.

I get a lot of letters - a lot of letters saying, who knew that you were funny?

We do not know when he is coming. He is coming tomorrow.

That was perfect. It was just the opposite from what I said yesterday.

If something is shocking without being funny it's hard to justify.

I changed my headlights the other day. I put in strobe lights instead! Now when I drive at night, it looks like everyone else is standing still.

Sweet cream on an ice cream sandwich!

One lion thinks it's just hilarious to tackle us. He's very funny about it... and we always know when it will happen.

Sometimes in the most tragic situation, something just profoundly funny happens.

I think people are surprised to learn that Im pretty goofy and pretty funny.

James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting through the whole film for me to be funny - and I never was.

Katherine Heigl, she was exactly the opposite of what I thought she'd be like. She smokes cigarettes, or she did then, and she's got a truck-driver's mouth, and she's really funny.