Quotes About Surprise

That heightened dynamic can produce interesting, funny ideas that are phrased in ways that surprise even you, as the performer.

My ex-boyfriend can round last night, which was weird because I didn't know he was in a coma.

When I was five years old I was on a merry go round. There was a gunshot nearby. The horses stampeded. There I was running down the street on a purple wooden horse.

It's funny the things you think you're scared of until they're upon you, and then you're not.

Ohh, how clever," Aden said and clapped. "A death threat. You know what's funny? That's not even my first of the day.

Last night I went out for Chinese. I picked up a Team USA Olympic uniform.

I kinda expected to turn the bottle and see a recipe. "So that's how you make ice cubes. Apparently you just freeze this stuff. Oh, but you need a tray. That's how they trick you into it."

Outlandish lyrics sung by smiling people in perfect harmony. Has that edge of surprise...a little nuts and really funny.

Meeting Helen Mirren was a fabulous experience. I had played it out in my mind, how I should greet her when we would be introduced. But the way we met was funny because I just didn't recognise her!

However, it is always nice to be expected, and not to arrive.

I've come to ask you where Seth is." "Funny," said Andrea. "We were going to ask you the same thing." I was taken aback. "How would I know?" They both just stared. "I don't!

Funny how it kept hitting me, like each new thing was a surprise. When was I going to stop being surprised?

I took a baby shower.

I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went "Aaaaahhhh..."

I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.

I never dreamed I would receive the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, mostly because my style is so typically Austrian.

Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.

Did you ever wake up with an erection...and find yourself in a massage chair at Brookstone? And you yell to the sales clerk "I'll take it!"

so this crow comes and it starts quacking at us.

Oh, dear God and baby Jesus in the manger, my eyes!" Dee shrieked. "My eyes!

Um...Mercer? Haven't seen you in nearly a month. I was expecting something like, 'Oh Cross, love of my heart, fire of my loins, how I've longed--

Excuse me, " she said, her voice tight. "But if I'd known there was going to be a firearms examination at the end of the kidnapping, by God, I would have studied for it!

He started to wonder if maybe they had been raptured while he was in school. He always worried the Lord would show up when he wasn't around. Or when he was on the toilet, taking care of a number two.

Can I come in?No! I'm in a towel!I'm blind!