Quotes About Perspective

I have this horrible sense of humor where I think discomfort is funny - partly because I experience discomfort a lot, and it's a way of laughing at it and getting a release.

Till I was 13, I thought my name was 'Shut Up.'

First, a few words about this title. It isn't easy, coming up with book titles. A lot of the really good ones are taken. Thin Thighs in 30 Days, for example. Also The Bible.

Funny the way it is, not right or wrong, somebody's heart is broken, and it becomes your favorite song.

I've noticed that one thing about parents is that no matter what stage your child is in, the parents who have older children always tell you the next stage is worse.

My girlfriend doesn't think I'm funny at all.

There is more to be said for stupidity than people imagine. Personally I have a great admiration for stupidity. It is a sort of fellow-feeling, I suppose.

I changed my headlights the other day. I put in strobe lights instead! Now when I drive at night, it looks like everyone else is standing still.

I got an ant farm. Them fellas didn't grow anything. Hey, how about some celery? Plus, if I tore your legs off, you would look like snowmen.

I've always been the goofy kid. Growing up, I always enjoyed the comedic aspect of relating to women. Even on camera, it was always the funny take on it.

Since I've retired, I eat less, weigh less, train less and care less.

We will see how the issue will turn out when they come to Baghdad.

I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal: high enough so you can look up her dress.

The Lord turned water into wine. All I'm suggesting is a trip to the grocery store.

And, you know, I liked writing humor. Well, I should say, I wanted to write seriously, but it kept turning funny.

I think religion is a funny thing because, when you see somebody who can really break it down, sometimes it feels foolish what you believe.

Everything's funny - in the right context and done by the right person.

After the Soviet Union collapsed, people thought I wasn't funny anymore.

I think maybe to survive, I mean to just get through the day - I'm not saying that everything is hilariously funny.

Folks always look good in their coffins.

I always thought that my canine family tended to view me as the funny-looking two-legged dog who runs the can opener.

I don't like people whose job it isn't to be funny, to tell me what is and isn't funny.

A lot of the things I do are the sort of things I think are funny.

I hate trying to analyze comedy in some deep way. If it gets laughs, it's funny.