Quotes About Validation

I keep saying I'm not at all famous in my own country, because people do not think I have done anything for India.

Do I need to go down and get the certificate that says I'm CEO of the company to get you to stop challenging me on this?

I could go to UT, make the Dean's List, and get a master's in education, but I would always be a third-generation delinquent to the older folks. They weren't wrong, of course, but it was still unkind of them to comment on it.

You'll keep making wrong decisions if you keep worrying about what other people think.

love flattery, even though we are not deceived by it, because it shows that we are of importance enough to be courted.

just because you have achieved something many times doesn't mean you won't have to prove yourself again.

I think the trick is convincing yourself that you deserve the reactions you get. You can wear the court's dresses, Vin, but make them your own. Don't worry that you aren't giving people what they want. Give them who you are, and let that be enough.

Feelings aren't proof. Feelings are the opposite of proof.' 'Not when the thing you're trying to prove is someone's humanity.

Nobody will think I'm weird, and I won't get into trouble for fighting because my job will be fighting. They won't call me names, and everyone will love me.

How much of what you've done was about love, and how much was about proving something?

Here's what is truly at the heart of wholeheartedness: Worthy now. Not if, not when, we're worthy of love and belonging now. Right this minute. As is.

Nothing has transformed my life more than realizing that it's a waste of time to evaluate my worthiness by weighing the reaction of the people in the stands.

Never underestimate the power of being seen

Stop scouring people's faces for evidence that you're not enough. You will always find it because you've made that your goal. True belonging and self-worth are not goods; we don't negotiate their value with the world. The truth about who we are lives in our hearts.

This is one reason we need to dispel the myth that empathy is "walking in someone else's shoes." Rather than walking in your shoes, I need to learn how to listen to the story you tell about what it's like in your shoes and believe you even when it doesn't match my experiences.

We put so much of our time and energy into making sure that we meet everyone's expectations and into caring about what other people think of us, that we are often left feeling angry, resentful and fearful.

The important thing to know about worthiness is that it doesn't have prerequisites. Most of us, on the other hand, have a long list of worthiness prerequisites—qualifiers that we've inherited, learned, and unknowingly picked up along the way. Most of these prerequisites fall in the categories of accomplishments, acquisitions, and external acceptance. It's the if/when problem ("I'll be worthy when ..." or "I'll be worthy if ...").

Perfectionism is not self-improvement. Perfectionism is, at its core, about trying to earn approval and acceptance. Most perfectionists were raised being praised for achievement and performance (grades, manners, rule-following, people-pleasing, appearance, sports). Somewhere along the way, we adopt this dangerous and debilitating belief system: I am what I accomplish and how well I accomplish it.

Until we teach our children that they need to be concerned with how they look and with what other people think, they dance.

We are worthy of love and belonging now. Right this minute. As is.

It's dangerous to put your self-worth in other people's hands. Again, no matter what you do, you can't control other people's responses. These are recipes for disappointment and hurt.

When we spend a lifetime trying to distance ourselves from the parts of our lives that don't fit with who we think we're supposed to be, we stand outside of our story and hustle for our worthiness by constantly performing, perfecting, pleasing, and proving.

Overcoming self-doubt is all about believing we're enough and letting go of what the world says we're supposed to be and supposed to call ourselves.

We all need to be seen and honored in the same way that we all need to breathe.