Quotes About Validation

Nothing has transformed my life more than realizing that it's a waste of time to evaluate my worthiness by weighing the reaction of the people in the stands. The people who love me and will be there regardless of the outcome are within arm's reach.

The friend who is all about making it better and, out of her own discomfort, refuses to acknowledge that you can actually be crazy and make terrible choices: "You're exaggerating. It wasn't that bad. You rock. You're perfect. Everyone loves you.

we simply prefer approval over disapproval).

the question that we must ultimately answer is this: What's the greater risk? Letting go of what people think or letting go of how I feel, what I believe, and who I am?

We hustle for our worthiness by slipping on the emotional and behavioral straitjacket of cool and posturing as the tragically hip and the terminally "better than." Being "in control" isn't always about the desire to manipulate situations, but often it's about the need to manage perception. We want to be able to control what other people think about us so that we can feel good enough.

if you don't put value on your work, no one is going to do that for you.

And just because someone failed to see the value in what we can create or achieve doesn't change its worth or ours.

Human approval is one of our most treasured idols, and the offering we must lay at its hungry feet is keeping others comfortable.

Just as a reminder from Chapter 4, perfectionism is not teaching them how to strive for excellence or be their best selves. Perfectionism is teaching them to value what other people think over what they think or how they feel. It's teaching them to perform, please, and prove. Unfortunately, I have many examples from my own life.

Men and women who have a deep sense of love and belonging believe they are worthy of love and belonging.

But I have plenty of experience with trying to meet everyone's expectations so they won't reject me. It's easy to become a slave to that - to lose yourself in it.

Acknowledging the experience, skills, and other positive qualities you possess is an effective way to buffer yourself from the pressure you face.

Jamais la femme ne se fût imaginée l'égale de l'hmôme, si l'homme, si l'homme ne lui avait dit qu'elle l'était, par « gentillesse ».

Our clinging to the opinions of others reveals how superficial we are. We have little to stand on. We have to be kept alive by adulation and praise. Those who are deeply rooted in the love of God can enjoy human praise without being attached to it.

How much of our energy goes into defining ourselves by deciding "I am what I do," "I am what others say about me," or "I am what I have"? When that's the case, life often follows a repetitive up-and-down motion.

If we do not know we are the beloved sons and daughters of God, we are going to expect someone in the community to make us feel that we are. We will expect someone to give us that perfect, unconditional love. They cannot.

As a self-rejecting person always in search of affirmation and affection, I find it impossible to love consistently without asking for something in return.

pues el hombre acepta no lo que es verdaderamente respetable sino lo respetado!

for, by whatever means you get into the polite circle, when you are once there, it is sufficient merit for you that you are there.

Her desire to think well of herself had at least the element of humility that it always needed to be supported by proof.

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All anybody needs to know about prizes is that Mozart never won one.

Because people have read those things in the newspapers, they think it is true. Ten years ago all these things I have just mentioned would have upset me.

Recently I made the mistake of opening a bundle of reviews that someone had sent me of a production from years and years ago, and someone had written a really lovely review except that it made a remark about the way I spoke: 'A lot of people find her voice terribly irritating.' Do they? I had no idea.