Quotes About Perception

'Understanding' art is like having a sense of humour - if you don't have one, no amount of explanation is going to make you laugh.

Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.

Trust me, Wilbur. People are very gullible. They'll believe anything they see in print.

History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.

I've noticed that when people are joking they're usually dead serious, and when they're serious, they're usually pretty funny.

I'm in shape. Round is a shape.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

No means yes in grasshopper language.

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha? I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified.

People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine.

Well, all I know is what I read in the papers.

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus or just a really cool opotamus?

If you've got the comedy eye, you can look at any situation and see the humor in it while others don't.

You look as scary as a buttered muffin.

I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of her head to the tag on her toes.

Charm is the enchanted dart, light and subtle as a hummingbird. But it is deceptive in one thing: like a sense of humor, if you think you've got it, you probably haven't.

Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him?

After making love I said to my girl, "Was it good for you too?" And she said, "I don't think this was good for anybody."

You know why the French hate us so much? Thay gave us the croissant. And you know what we did with it? We turned it into our croissandwich, thank you very much.

I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing.