Quotes About Perception

Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.

I played in a death-metal band. People either loved us or hated us. Or they thought we were OK.

There is a foolish corner in the brain of the wisest man.

Meow" means "woof" in cat.

Stupid men are the only ones worth knowing after all.

He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.

When red-headed people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn.

I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories.

The first time you see something that you have never seen before, you almost always know right away if you should eat it or run away from it.

What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?

Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.

The ironic humor comes from the distance between what we understand about ourselves and what is truly going on in ourselves.

If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.

Have you ever noticed that the lawyer always smiles more than the client?

humor can get in under the door while seriousness is still fumbling at the handle

There's no such thing as legacies. At least, there is a legacy, but I'll never see it.

I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out.

Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.

One evening I sat Beauty on my knees – And I found her bitter – And I reviled her.

Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.

Jazz can be so serious, no sense of humor.

The only really sane person in there is Igor, and possibly the turnip. And I'm not sure about the turnip.

All that I've learned, I've forgotten. The little that I still know, I've guessed.

I think my sense of humor is Jewish. I'm smarter than most white people, which is kind of a Jewish thing, too.