Quotes About Perception

Magicians disappear all the time, but as soon as a regular person does it, everyone is all scared. "Tom's gone!" "Is he a magician?" "No." "Then let's print up some flyers!"

I got my hair highlighted because I felt some strands were more important than others.

I was deeply unhappy, but I didn't know it because I was so happy all the time.

Old ladies in wheelchairs with blankets over their legs, I don't think so...retired mermaids.

The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the front of an oncoming train.

It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

All men are born with a nose and ten fingers, but no one was born with a knowledge of God.

You know how confusing the whole good-evil concept is for me.

I saw a man with a wooden leg and a real foot.

Journalism largely consists of saying 'Lord Jones is Dead' to people who never knew that Lord Jones was alive.

What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?

I was just thinking how unfortunate it'd be to be a fat girl named Candy.

The public doesn't want new music; the main thing it demands of a composer is that he be dead.

I don't know if you've ever fallen asleep whilst eating a plate of cauliflower, and then woken up, and thought you were in the clouds.

It was beautiful in a harsh I'm-going-to-gut-you-like-a-fish kind of way.

He knows so little and knows it so fluently.

Old is always fifteen years from now.

Gluten free pizza elicits the same response at a hollywood party that a pile of cocaine did in the 80's.

You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors!

Is she crazy, like it says on her bracelet, or is she just looking at my sheets? I dunno!

Silence is foolish if we are wise, but wise if we are foolish.

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife.

Everyone coming out of a perfume store is smelling the back of their hand.