Quotes About Perception

Sense of humor is so much more subjective than anyone believes.

You have to have funny faces and words, you can't just have words. It is a powerful thing, and I think that's why it's hard for people to imagine that women can do that, be that powerful.

When I say something funny in a newspaper and I meant it to be funny, it doesn't read that way.

If you're considered a beauty, it's hard to be accepted doing anything but standing around.

The Art of Conversation could not die in Australia; it never lived. Television did not kill it; there was nothing there to kill.

Be wary of the horse with a sense of humor.

It's been my experience that people who make proclamations about themselves are usually the opposite of what they claim to be.

I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head breaks.

The other day I ... no wait, that wasn't me.

I believe my friends think I'm funny. All the books are full of humor. Maybe it is a quiet sort of humor that masquerades as not-much-at-all. It is certainly easy to miss.

I think how tan a person is, is directly proportionate to how dumb they are.

England is better only because I stand out there as 'unusual'.

Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.

I get mail; therefore I am.

Everyone was laughin'. Even that deaf mute boy was breathing heavy and pointing at me. Which is laughter to their kind.

Why are a 'wise man' and a 'wiseguy' opposites?

If I like it, I say it's mine. If I don't I say it's a fake.

I think that the anti-Microsoft sentiment is simply due to their having been so successful selling a lot of crap.

There's only one thing wrong with my wife's face - it shows.

Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

I like to use big words so people will think I know what I'm talking about.

I knew nothing about farce until I read Puce a l'Oreille, and had no idea what a deadly serious business it is.

Humor is almost always anger with its make-up on.

I'm a poet, and I like my lies the way my mother used to make them.