Quotes About Perception

...but I'd learned a long time ago that the worse things are, the more people lie about them.

Couldn't he have come out and greeted her like a civil human being instead of lurking from his kitchen while she shared a clearly intimate moment with his brisket?

Yesterday Allison bought me nail polish in the annoying shade of mauve. How can anyone look at me and think mauve?

I was beginning to think that Simon just had a bad case of OCD, ADD, and PMS. With a little BS and OMG mixed in.

Sometimes people are often confused between attitude and style. Nevermind, I'm Awesome.

Your boyfriend smells bad, says Sarah as she sniffs the armpit of the giant sweatshirt.All boys smell bad I say and she nods her head like we have just figured out something very important.

I smile more when people think 'I am fool

Being dead is highly overrated. It's no fun at all." -- Mythe: A Fairy Tale

No man is taller than his head, and there is no big brain that is bigger than the head!

This (San Francisco) is the most beautiful city in America, Probably because it looks nothing like America

If America runs on Dunkin', do I detect a slight limp?

So where'd you park the car, Max?''I don't know. I couldn't see over the wheel.''That's okay. I think I can smell it.

Young girls and mass murders are tender hearted creatures

Sometimes you feel as though you've slandered yourself, but the joke's on them.

I sheep's idea of bravery : To become a wolf's pet.

I call the right axe Sorrow, " she said. "You know what I call the left one?" "Happiness?" "Sorrow. I can't tell them apart.

He was a humorist, and everyone knew the funny writers were the most serious sort under their skins.

The difference between a man and a woman is whether to ask for directions.

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, you will be a mile away from him, and you will have his shoes.

The truth is what we say it is...prove to me this desk is not a cow!

I'd rather have less time than I think, than less think than I have time.

Paradigm shift: does that come before swing shift or after?

Ever notice that phrenologists have funny-shaped heads?

If it looks like a duck and sounds like a duck, it could be a really ugly swan.