Quotes About Awkward

Vladimir Putin celebrated his 63rd birthday today. He had a nice party, but it got awkward when two of his friends got him the same country.

The awkward moment when Santa accidentally leaves the price tag on your present.

I feel these days like a very large flamingo. No matter what way I turn, there is always a very large bill.

Aly hugging me, and me not hugging back, which was awkward beyond belief. I tried to wrap my arms around her but they collided in midair trying to find a place to settle, until my back plowed into the side of an open door. "Are you two all right?" Cass said. "Or is this Zombie Dance Night at the hospital?" Aly and I let go of each other. I could feel my face burning.

Ian turned around, revealing a tear in his pants that exposed boxers with pink dollar signs on a white background, then quickly spun back around. "Uh, never mind.

at least one player (who had been consuming Ding Dong cupcakes during a marathon match) explosively defecated in his pants midgame.

Here, she said. This is for you. I didn't really get you anything, I sputtered. I mean, I didn't know that you were going to be here, and-- Don't worry. It's your embarrassment at not having the thought that counts.

It's like, you know how sometimes you see a really sexy baby? Wait...

It was rather awkward, insofar as we were both teetering between the possibility of something and the possibility of nothing.

simon: that's disgusting! me: what's disgusting? simon: you know. you put your thing in the place where he, um, defecates.

Today was awkward, but I think that's because it feels like a very awkward time. It isn't about you, and it isn't about love. It's about everything crashing together at once.

Conversation is not his strong suit. In fact, I'm not sure it's a suit he owns.

maura: is there anything you want to tell me? me: yeah. I want to tell you that my third nipple is lactating and my butt cheeks are threatening to unionize. what do you think I should do about it? maura: I feel you're not telling me something.

me: what's disgusting? simon: you know, that you put your thing in the place where he, um, defecates.

So even though it doesn't seem like anything's changed-' '-things change all the time, mostly in little ways. That's how it goes, I guess.' Sofia nodded. 'Funny how we say it goes. That's just the way life goes.' 'That's the way life comes just sounds so awkward.' 'Well, sometimes you can see the future come, no?

His embarassment would have pleased me, but once he recovered, there would be that awkward period that sometimes culminates in a handshake. I didn't want to touch these people's hands or see things from their point of view, I just wanted to continue hating them. So I kept my mouth shut and stared off into space.

Everyone had taken their places, when I excused myself to visit the bathroom, and there, in the toilet, was the absolute biggest turd I have ever seen in my life - no toilet paper or anything, just this long and coiled specimen, as thick as a burrito.

Either he was suffering a terrible case of gas or he had a pint-size child practicing the trumpet in his back pocket.

One of the things we laughed about was an old episode of The Newlywed Game. The host asked the wives, "What's the most exotic place you've ever made love?" He was likely expecting "The kitchen" or "On a tennis court at night," but one woman didn't quite understand the question and answered, "In the butt.

Yesterday a woman had her son pee into a cup, which of course tipped over. "That's fine," I said, "but Santa's also going to need a stool sample.

And it's bad enough to be caught in your underpants but even worse to be caught in your underpants scratching out a valium prescription on someone else's pad.

Asking for candy on Halloween was called trick-or-treating, but asking for candy on November first was called begging, and it made people uncomfortable.

Then he wrestled me to the floor, grabbed my hand, and forced it deep into what amounted to my family's asshole.

It seemed like such a television moment, the intimacy unearned—grotesque, almost.