Quotes About Awkward

We stood facing each other, but it seemed absurd to shake hands, so we just smiled, like two strangers who had collided by accident.

You know its going to be a bad day when you are having a prostate examination and you feel both of your doctor's hands on your shoulders!

When she saw me, my mother stood up and started to come toward me, but then stopped. I think maybe Cat Poop had told her not to make any sudden movements because they might scare me, like I'm a wild animal or something, because she kept looking at him and then at me. Finally she just said, "Hello, Jeff," and sat down again next to my father.

Jessica?" "Oh, uh… sorry, François. I had to go to the bathroom." "What? Why?" Crud. Vampires didn't have to potty. "To get my… lotion. I have dry hands.

For heaven's sake, if you don't know someone's name, just pretend you do. Do that thing everyone else does, where you vaguely say, "Nice to see you!" and make weak eye contact.

You like to watch?" The girl asked. "Or do you want to join us?" "I…uh…" Oh, this wasn't hot anymore. This was just awkward, and I was so totally out of place with my flannel shirt and my socks and my hair back in a bun. I was wearing fucking glasses. Who wears glasses to your neighbor's orgy?

Wetting her throat, she managed to say, "Did you bring protection?" Sailor froze. A second later, he groaned and dropped his head. "I hate myself right now," he said. "My cock hates me even more.

ASHLEY CARNARVON WAS TRYING TO DIG a single black sock out from under Eric Van Hoffendam's bed when he proposed. Which meant, given her position, hips in the air, feet wedged against the wall to give her leverage to reach the pesky sock, that he proposed to her butt.

When did you become a woman?"-Hatori How dare you ask that after you have seen me naked so many times..."-Yuki GASP! No it cant be! Yuki-kun, does that mean..." fan club girls NO! He's my doctor..."Yuki

TOM Come on! Seriously … HELEN Okay, okay … I'm … (Beat.) You have my hand there, you know. TOM Yeah, I … is that not …? HELEN It's fine. Just wanted to ask and see if it was an accident or not. TOM Umm … no. It wasn't, no. But … now you're making me self-conscious.

Dad was always awkward in scenes like this. He was a Swain and Swains are not for joining in. They're not part of the General Population somehow. There's

much of an anticlimax. Miming feels pretty daft at the

There may well be no deliberate deception involved, just what is known as confabulation, where a subject becomes talkative, in an attempt to fill any awkward silences.

I find standing and posing for photos very awkward.

Then, there are the places you would rather not go-a tax collectors' convention, a sewage treatment plant, or maybe the home of someone who keeps spiders as pets and insists on taking them out of their cages and making you hold them.

There is nothing quite as painful as a truly awkward silence.

That man is such a damn turd monkey." "Grandma!" I said. "Oh, Zoeybird, did I just call your mother's husband a damn turd monkey out loud?" "Yes, Grandma, you did." She looked at me, her dark eyes sparkling. "Good.

It was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak and then decide not to say it after all.

There is something fascinatingly awkward about an author photo. I'm drawn to those glossy shots in the back of books, mostly because the subjects never look happy to be there.

I think I'll just go take a shower," I said. It wasn't until Samuel stiffened that I remembered I'd just come out of the shower. So much for playing normal.

I pounded my forehead against Warren's back. "Tell me Ben's not flirting with me." "Hey," said Ben sounding hurt. "I was talking cannibalism, not romance.

But his attention was all for my mother. "She's married," I warned him. "And if you call her a rude name, she'll shoot you with her pretty pink gun and I'll spit on your grave." He considered me a moment and started to open his mouth. Adam said, "Ben. Meet Mercy's mother, Margi." Ben paled, closed his mouth, and opened it again. But nothing came out. I didn't think Ben was used to meeting mothers.

It felt weird to exchange a smile with Honey, so I stopped as soon as I could.

One word of caution, though, should you ever buy commercial worms. If you go into a backwoods gas station and find a large, rough-looking woman behind the cash register, don't ask, "Do you have worms?" My friend Retch Sweeney did that a while back. He should get out of his full-body cast any day now.