Quotes About Awkward

If I had blood, I'd blush.

My ex-boyfriend can round last night, which was weird because I didn't know he was in a coma.

The Side Effects of Dying in Your Pants isn't really funny… Alright, it's a little funny.

I think ultimately, when you believe somebody is going through a situation and it's either awkward or ridiculous, but you believe it, that can be funny.

Did you ever wake up with an erection...and find yourself in a massage chair at Brookstone? And you yell to the sales clerk "I'll take it!"

Can I come in?No! I'm in a towel!I'm blind!

Cole, for Christ's sake, will you stop staring at me like I'm beefcake of the month?

No, officer, I have no idea why I'm wearing this possum costume. I called you what? OH. My bad."-Nastasya

I would never say snog. I would say osculate." She looks at me as if to say: why do you exist?

How in the world do you tellyour wife that her mother was born a unicon?

Some mistakes are worse than others: wearing your underwear inside out isn't as uncomfortable as wearing it back to front.

I was shy, " said six-foot-one of bashful male. He grunted as a sharp, feminine elbow thudded inconspicuously into his side.

Ben walks in the room and asks, "What were you guys doing?" Nikki says "Nothing" at the same time I say, "Your sister and I were just makin' out.

Didn't expect to see you here, " Jordan said.My eyes cut to Rachel, and I smiled sweetly. "Obviously. Hey, Rachel. Good to see you aga

Wanna play a joke on your chiropractor? The next time he starts working on you, go limp and soil yourself.

I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early.

That awkward moment when you spell a word so wrong that even auto-correct is like 'I got nothing, man.'

When you took your seat I felt as if a woman had come into my bathroom and I had only the sponge to defend myself.

I have no luck with women. I once went on a date and asked the woman if she'd brought any protection. She pulled a switchblade on me.

So, I'm awkward with actual humans. It's not paranoia about my hacked governor module, and it's not them; it's me. I know I'm a horrifying murderbot, and they know it, and it makes both of us nervous, which makes me even more nervous. Also, if I'm not in the armor then it's because I'm wounded and one of my organic parts may fall off and plop on the floor at any moment and no one wants to see that.

So, I'm awkward with actual humans. It's not paranoia about my hacked governor module, and it's not them; it's me. I know I'm a horrifying murderbot, and they know it, and it makes both of us nervous, which makes me even more nervous.

There is a paradox here: the purpose of a great number of the things we call 'works of art' was and is religious. But when we encounter them in the circumstances for which they were made our reaction – or at least mine – is to feel awkward, a bit embarrassed at being there under false pretences. This is, perhaps, the mirror image of the bewilderment felt by a true believer at finding a sacred image in a museum, lined up with pictures of landscapes and kitchen tables.

You said you'd not get weird after sex.

What's the three words you never want to hear while making love? Honey, I'm home.