Quotes About Awkward

I don't mind watching comedians telling jokes on the telly, as you don't have to react, but if someone tells me a joke to my face I feel under pressure to find it amusing.

The only memory I have was how the wrestler's balls that were thrust into my face left a saltiness on my lips.

Sometimes kindness can be delivered in a clumsy way. But it's far more sincere in its clumsiness than those distinguished men you read about in books. Your father was very clumsy.

In general I do not draw well with literary men -- not that I dislike them but I never know what to say to them after I have praised their last publication.

My mom told me she thinks a man in the market felt her up today. I asked, Where did he touch you? She said, On my knee, Bobby.

It is awkward to listen to oneself being praised, and I was always a shy man.

There are a lot of good looking men on this planet. It seems like once a week someone will tell me, "I know someone who looks like you" and I don't know what say to them except, "Tell them hi."

A mom and dad found an S&M magazine under their 10-year-old son's bed, and the dad said, 'Well, we sure can't spank him.'

Mom's eyes blazed. "Are you sleeping with her?" Oh, god. Did we have to do this here? Now? "Well, actually," I smirked, "we don't get a lot of sleep.

When you bump into your own mom at an orgy, it's hard not to get her to read into certain things.

Sorry," he said, his voice thick and gruff. "It's morning and you're sitting on me. That's a combination meant to bring any man down.

Ironically, he'd yet to leave a good impression. First he'd spilled soda on her, next she'd seen him almost involved in a riot, and then this morning she'd believed him to be either lazy or an idiot.

The fact that my mother was on television every week while I was young was occasionally awkward, and often frustrating.

Somebody ripped their pants open at my wedding, dipping my mother. My mother is not a lady who throws herself into a dip that often, so I don't think he thought she was really going to do it.

Holly girl, you are all too human, I can assure you. Prickly and awkward and human, because that's what witches are - human, that is, not necessarily the prickly and annoying bit. That's just you.

Never underestimate a parent's ability to mortify his child.

If this is going to be my last day on earth, I do not want it to be socially awkward.

And more than anything, we are a pretty awkward society when it comes to talking about dying. It's supposed to happen offstage, in hospitals, and no one wants to dwell on it too much.

He looked like a man who'd invited himself to dinner only to discover that the special of the day was a plateful of shit.

Según él, era como si una chica te abandonaba y tenías que cruzarte con ella a diario.

tall, lank, awkward; dressed in a loose, ill-fitting black frock coat, with black trousers, ill-fitting and somewhat baggy at the knees.

I tried to think of a good reason as to why I had a sex book down my pants, but my brain refused to work.

So I asked the salesclerk for a jar of confiture de groseilles, which is pronounced "gro-zay." But with my less-than-stellar command of the language, I asked for "confiture de grosses selles" (which I pronounced as "gross sells"). The saleswoman's jaw nearly hit the counter: I'd ordered turd jam…make that big-turd jam.

Don't you mean the Vierge Noire, the Black Virgin?" "Uh, yes. Isn't that what I was talking about?" "Daveed, a verge is a penis.