Quotes About Sarcasm

They didn't have novels back then. (Tory) History says they didn't have books, yet what's this thing in my hand? It's square, bound paper that's been written on. Looks like a book to me. (Acheron) Thank you, Captain Sarcasm. How nice of you to join us again. (Tory)

Ewwww-eee-wwww. Hey Ash, you vant to suck my blud? (Fang) No, thanks. The last thing I want is to catch parvo from you, or some other freaky dog disease that makes me lift my leg around hydrants. (Acheron)

Oh, good grief! I've never had a man pick me up before and not grunt like he's dying. I'm in heaven. Marry me, Ash, please! (Pam) I would say yes, but I come with more baggage than even Samsonite can cover. (Acheron)

Dead or alive, the balls still hurt when kicked, huh? (Zarek)

Alright, you'll get your bonus, buy play nice with her. Keep your sarcasm to a minimum. (Kyrian) Yes, O Great Lord and Master. Be nice to woman, keep mouth shut. (Nick)

You don't like people who have money, do you? (Astrid) I'm not prejudiced against anyone, princess. I hate everyone equally. (Zarek)

Because I cursed him to it. (Acheron) Be glad I'm not physically there or I'd slap you upside the head. You know how free will works, so stop the whining and get off the cross. Someone needs the wood. (Savitar)

Nick, fetch my car, fetch my clothes, sweep the chimney, make my bed, watch my psychopath, fetch my slippers.' Yeah, I'll fetch those slippers and stick them someplace real uncomfortable. I swear, my mother should have named me Fido. (Nick)

I know. 'Nick, go after psycho-ass and show him where he lives.' But might I point out that in doing this, I should qualify for hazard pay? (Nick) Might I point out that staying here with me is far more hazardous to your health? (Acheron) What? Am I still here? Oh no, sorry, thought I'd left ten minutes ago. (Nick)

Shut up. Asshole. (Shahara) I live for your endearments. (Syn)

I swear if that's a pair of demon horns digging into my belly and stabbing me right now, Ash, I'm going to beat you after it's born. 'Cause face it, horns on the head didn't come from my side of the family or genetic code.

You want me here. (Artemis) Yeah, like an alien rectal probe up my sphincter.' (Acheron)

You want something to drink?" – Nick "Human blood would be fabulous. But since I doubt you're donating, let me suffer for a minute longer." – Caleb

So what's it to be, Bear? Dev lifted his leg and gave a sarcastic slap to his thigh. By golly, I'll take door number two, Bob. You know the one that calls for straight suicide with a side of mutilation and pain? Sign my hairy ass up for that and don't be late.

I'd rather have my eyes gouged out. (Urian) If I do that, can the Simi eat them? (Simi) You have to share if you do! (Xirena)

You really don't want to take that tone with me. (Varyk) Well, I do have several others we can choose from. Contemptuous. Angry. Snide. Aggravated. How about I just settle on extreme sarcasm and we call it even? (Dev)

Lucille certainly picked a fine time to leave us, didn't he? I just wish our only problem was four hungry children and a crop in the field. (Danger) You know, your sarcasm isn't helping anymore than your bizarre and scattered references to literature and bad country songs. (Alexion) Not true, it's helping me maintain a calm facade that I most definitely do not feel. (Danger) Well, it's starting to piss me off. (Alexion) Ooo, you almost scare me when you say that.

His mother hesitated before she continued grilling him. "Is he a good boy?" "No, Mom, he's Satan incarnate. In fact, once it's over, we're going to get liquored up and tattooed, then find some cheap hos and have a good time with his trust fund." Caleb laughed.

I could do without your sarcasm. (Kat) And I could do without your bleeding heart. (Xypher) Just remember, my bleeding heart is what gained you a shot at freedom. (Kat) Queenie, it was a bleeding heart that put me in that position to begin with. The person I was trying to protect when I was taken didn't return the favor. The bitch was only using me. So take my advice: whatever compassion you have, kill it off. You'll thank me for it later. (Xypher)

Fine, just don't eat my mom, okay? She's had a bad enough life without becoming the Bride of Dracula." – Nick

Don't you two girls have something better to do, like pick out toe lint? (Acheron)

I can tell you love him. (Syn) Yeah, like a boil in my nether regions. (Kiara)

Ash sarcastically rang an invisible bell with his hand. Ding, ding, ding. Give that boy a trophy.

Nick moved over to Amanda, who seemed to be the safest bet in this family of homicidal loons. Amanda glanced at him over her shoulder. "For the record, if they attack, I'm throwing you at them and running for the door." "Gee, thanks." She shrugged. "How you think I've survived so long in this family?