Quotes About Sarcasm

There's a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.

You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you

I can't stand it when men are snarky.

[To the man who came up to her at a party and exclaimed effusively, 'Tallulah! I haven't seen you for 41 years!':] I thought I told you to wait in the car.

There was a man sitting in the dining room of the Titanic, he said: "I know I asked for ice, but this is ridiculous."

A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms"

My mom was sarcastic about men. She would tell me Adam was the rough draft and Eve was the final product. She was a feminist minister, an earth mom who wore a bra only on Sundays.

I've read better fecal matter patterns on toilet paper.

There is laughter because there is nothing to laugh at.

Sarcasm is the language of the devil, for which reason I have long since as good as renounced it.

Sarcasm I now see to be, in general, the language of the Devil; for which reason I have long since as good as renounced it.

The French have only negative things to say about everything and everyone.

I try very hard to be bad, but people never take me seriously.

I'm a dummy from New Jersey.

I'm very bubbly, so when people meet me, they sometimes think I'm fake. I'm excited to meet new people, but I guess I sound like I'm being sarcastic.

I'll just go rub some salt in her wounds,then i think I'll run out and kick some puppies on my way to foreclosing on my quota of widows and orphans.

Well, Ms. Fontaine, you look damn good for a dead woman. Her response was to narrow her eyes, arch a brow. If that's some sort of cop humor, I'm afraid you'll have to translate.

because I plan to marry you for your money. It's the nosy

Sarcasm is when you tell someone the truth by lying on purpose.

No, I say, it's fine. Put a gun to my head and paint the wall with my brains. Just great, I say. Really.

You ever wonder when god's coming back with a lot of barbecue sauce?

How can I not laugh? I'm already dead.

I say, it's fine. Put a gun to my head and paint the wall with my brains. Just great, I say. Really.

Fuck Martha Stewart. Martha's polishing the brass on the Titanic. It's all going down, man. So fuck off with your sofa units and Strinne green stripe patterns.