Quotes from Bruce D. Perry

Our first experiences create the filters through which all new experiences must pass.

first a, then b, then c. And as we've said, the way our brain processes our experiences is sequential. All sensory input (physical sensations, smells, tastes, sights, sounds) is first processed in the lower areas of the brain; the lower brain gets first dibs. This means that before any new experience has a chance to be considered by the higher

thinking" part of the brain, the lower brain has already interpreted and responded to it. It's matched the sensory input from the new experience against the catalog of stored memories of past experiences—before the smart part of your brain even has a chance to get involved.

They found that crimes involving a Black suspect and a white victim make up only 10 percent of all crimes—but they account for 42 percent of what's reported on television.

Dr. Perry: It has the same effect. And other children will discover that pulling out their hair or their eyebrows gives a little bit of an opiate burst.

developed post-traumatic wisdom.

Activating your stress-response systems, even at a moderate level, for long periods of time is physically and emotionally exhausting.

There are parts of our brain that are very, very sensitive to nonverbal relational cues. And in our society, this is an underappreciated aspect of the way human beings work.

So, part of the increase in anxiety in our modern world comes down to the constant bombardment of novelty—especially social novelty—and the absence of counterbalancing relational connection.

We tend to be a very verbal society—written and spoken words are important—but the majority of communication is actually nonverbal.

when you experience trauma in the first years of life, meaning from birth through age two—before you've developed the ability to explain the event—it can have a deeper impact on your brain than when you actually do have the words to explain it.

an intention precedes every thought and every action, and that the outcome of your experiences is determined by your intention going in.

The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog: And Other Stories from a Child Psychiatrist's Notebook

When you're new to a community, having moved away from what's familiar, your brain is going to be continually trying to manage all the novelty. And that's very hard to do without any real relational anchors in the new environment. The relationships will grow, but it takes time. This is why people are most vulnerable in the first six months after major transitions—after leaving the safe, stable, and known behind to start building a new set of connections.

outcome of your experiences is determined by your intention going in.

Even if it's a really nice, kind, respectful person entering the child's life, it takes a long time for the child to make sense of the shift and get back to a calm, regulated state.

make my decisions based on what I intended, not just on what someone else wanted me to do or what I thought would please them.

Born for Love: Why Empathy Is Essential—and Endangered

Poverty of relationship can disrupt normal development, influence how the brain works, put you at risk for physical and mental health problems. It's absolutely not good for you. Oprah: Especially for children.

A child exposed to unpredictable or extreme stress will become what we call dysregulated.

Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes

One of the things we don't appreciate in Western cultures is how powerful and important touch is to our physical and emotional growth.

Why is it that people who are victims of trauma are so often drawn to abusive relationships? Dr. Perry: Let me broaden the question, because it is so important in understanding not just abuse but all behavior. The key point is that all of us tend to gravitate to the familiar, even when the familiar is unhealthy or destructive. We are drawn to what we were raised with.

Disconnection is disease.