Quotes from Bruce D. Perry

La capacidad de imaginarse escenarios alternativos también puede ayudar a aumentar el control de impulsos.

father didn't even know about me until my mother sent him a birth announcement and asked for money to buy baby clothes.

And so, when you are an attentive, attuned, and responsive caregiver to these little ones, you're literally weaving together this powerful three-part association - you're building a healthy root system for the Tree of Regulation.

las fuerzas o las vulnerabilidades genéticas se ven aumentadas o mitigadas en el contexto de las primeras relaciones de un niño.

We must understand and heal the wounds of the past before we can move forward.

And the capacity to be connected in meaningful and healthy ways is shaped by our earliest relationships. Love, and loving caregiving, is the foundation of our development. What happened to you as an infant has a profound impact on this capacity to love and be loved.

If we truly want to understand ourselves, we need to understand our history—our true history. Because the emotional residue of our past follows us.

I always felt like a burden, an "extra mouth to feed." I rarely remember feeling loved. From as early as I can remember, I knew I was on my own.

Ahora ya sabéis que todos los días, en el colegio, Peter aprende cosas de todos vosotros. Mira cómo hacéis las cosas y aprende al jugar con cada uno de vosotros, igual que aprende solo con ser vuestro amigo. Por eso quiero daros las gracias por ayudarle, y por dejarme venir a vuestra clase para hablaros del cerebro.

Oprah: Regulation, relationship, and reward.

La socialización puede mejorarse empezando poco a poco, primero enseñando a tener relaciones simples, cara a cara y basadas en normas, y de ahí pasar a retos más complejos con grupos de semejantes.

The art of storytelling and the capacity to listen are on the decline. The result is a more self-absorbed, more anxious, more depressed—and less resilient—population.

What I've learned from talking to so many victims of traumatic events, abuse, or neglect is that after absorbing these painful experiences, the child begins to ache. A deep longing to feel needed, validated, and valued begins to take hold. As these children grow, they lack the ability to set a standard for what they deserve. And if that lack is not addressed, what

What didn't happen for you? What attention, nurturing touch, reassurance—basically, what love—didn't you get? I realized that neglect is as toxic as trauma.

Mature human interactions involve efforts to understand people who are different from you.

The loving sensations provided by the adult caregiver start to become associated with pleasure. In thousands of moments, when the caregivers respond to the needs of the infant, the brain is connecting relationship to reward and regulation.

When children understand why someone behaves oddly, they give him or her more slack, generally.

often follows is a complicated, frustrating pattern of self-sabotage, violence, promiscuity, or addiction.

do think that, in most cases, neglect and trauma co-occur. But they cause very different biological experiences and can have very different effects on the brain and the developing child. Some people

Yes, it's best if you can simply be present. If you do use words, it's best to restate what they're saying; this is called reflective listening. You can't talk someone out of feeling angry, sad, or frustrated, but you can be a sponge and absorb their emotional intensity. If you stay regulated, ultimately they will "catch" your calm.

A consistent, nurturing caregiver builds an internal view that people are safe, predictable, and caring.

have used the term "complex trauma" to try to capture developmental neglect and maltreatment, but I believe that lumps too many things into one box.

To calm a frightened child, you must first calm yourself.

Yes, and that's a remarkable and powerful worldview. We learn that a connection with another person can be rewarding and regulating. It pulls us to engage with our teachers, coaches, classmates. It usually leads to more and more positive human interactions that add to our internal catalog of experience.