Quotes from Caroline Kepnes

I try to help you move on, but you don't know why she hates you and it's all you want to talk about. Every. Fucking. Night. And it would be easier if these talks were happening on a park bench or your stoop or your sofa or your bed that I assembled but they're happening over the phone. And I can't smell you over the phone and I feel like a 1-900-Build-Me-Up hotline you call to feel good about yourself.

I hope that most people at this point in time realize that Prince is one of the great poets of our time. I didn't say songwriter— I said poet. Prince is the closest thing we have to e. e. cummings and people are so stupid because they don't come in here and buy books of Prince poems. It

everythingship.

I'm your phone bitch and I don't like it. You don't want to know about my day.

All the joy is gone, somewhere along the way she broke her own heart and without a heart you can't get better.

And you with your computer, as if you need to remind your imaginary audience that you're a writer when we (I) know what you truly are: a performer, an exhibitionist.

you have forced us into asexual, sunlit spaces. I finally have you in the dark and you're not hiding from me anymore and I'm gonna make this last as long as I can. I love this. I love you.

I'm so excited to see you that the world doesn't even exist right now.

Do you want people to think you're crazy? Because only crazy people capitalize every word.

You are a woman and I am a man and we belong in the dark together

you're still talking and fuck, it's hard to listen when I can smell your body wash.

You're an onion and Karen's a Maraschino cherry and I love you because onions are more complicated than cherries. I'm doomed.

Night moves don't work in the morning

All I heard was we and I smile.

Now there are elements of our dynamic coming slowly into view, like a photograph in a darkroom.

If there's one thing I've learned about Ivy League people, Beck, it's that you all really like going back to school for reunions.

Do you ever notice how many words we waste?

See, I started to feel old my junior year of college. I was gonna go to Prague and I backed out at the last minute and a lot of my friends, they made me feel old, like I'd missed out on something I could never get back, as if Prague was going out of business. As if that was it, forever, as if you have to be in college to go abroad.

I KILLED TWO PEOPLE FOR YOU. I'M A LOVER. A HERO. THE OPPOSITE OF A PSYCHOPATH.

The world fell out of love with love at some point and

You envy her. How come she doesn't have the weight of ambition? You pity her. How come she has no ambition?

A heart doesn't just break for no reason.

What other kid, what other boy, would like The Middle? He says it's great because all the Hecks are smart and stupid at the same time. He says most other shows make you be one or the other.

Love's a marathon, Danny, not a sprint.