Quotes from Tucker Max

Probably the best explanation for my success and other Internet writers, is that we're tapping a genre or a niche out there that needs to be filled and isn't.

The meaning of life is to create meaning for your life.

Publishing companies are like schoolyard bullies that can't even fight well.

No one wants to read a story where I saw a cute puppy on the street and I petted it. I mean, that's not funny. I only write about the funny stuff.

I don't even pursue girls anymore. I mean, I could obviously still pursue girls. It's not like I can't. But I don't have to pursue girls anymore. Girls come to me.

I'm a human. Every human is flawed. I might be flawed in different ways than some people, or worse ways than some people, or better ways than some people.

My parents got divorced when I was around a year old. My dad was essentially a nonentity in my life until I got to be about 16 or so. My mom was a flight attendant for PanAm, so I moved all over the world. London, Rio de Janeiro.

Unless you plan on making academia your life, all you need to know about postmodernism is that its premises are fundamentally wrong.

My writing is authentic, and whatever happens in my life is what I write about.

I was not developmentally disabled, but didn't mature at the same rate other kids did.

The Big Five publishing companies are dinosaurs trying to survive in a post-meteor world. They won't.

I'm never going to be Tolstoy.

General reader feedback is usually pretty worthless. 99% of people give feedback that is irrelevant, stupid, or just flat out wrong. But that 1% of people who give good feedback are invaluable.

Books are so cheap and easy to get that people don't bother stealing them, which is the essential rule of piracy that the music business learned much too late.

I stop paying attention because as much as I love beauty, I hate stupidity, and seeing the two combined pisses me off.

A personal brand is relevant to people who sell or create something relevant to who they are as a person. If you're not in that boat, which most people are not, personal branding makes no sense.

Even if I was a Republican, George Bush would have pushed me out of that party.

I always laugh when people call me a misogynist. I... love women! Everything I do is to impress women. And if I hated women, why would half my fans be women?

There is no number or level of success that would make me think, 'Wow, I didn't think that was possible.'

Random Girl after a hookup: "Do you love me" Tucker: "I don't understand the question.

Whatever your favorite food is, if you eat it every day for a month, you're going to get sick of it.

If your parents ignored you, or if they are just not emotionally available, or if they yell a lot, that is a type of trauma.

No sheep wants to be first through the gate, but every sheep will be second.

If you like to argue just for the sake of being contentious, you shouldn't pick a job based on this unresolved emotional issue of yours, you should get counseling for it.