Quotes from Tucker Max

If you read the book, you're not a journalist. You're some impostor! No journalist actually does any work.

The result of my hard work is that I'm financially independent, I have an amazing life, and I can do whatever I want. I don't have to answer to anybody.

That's the beauty of alcohol. If you don't remember it, it didn't happen.

Communication is not what we say, but what you hear (which is a lesson I wish our educational system understood)

You ever wake up in the middle of the night because a couple of cats are clawing each other to death outside your window? That's what it's like listening to you speak.

When I give speeches at college, I don't tell stories, I talk about what it is to live your dreams and take the path less traveled.

I think 20th century media were about tricking people - and the beauty of the Internet is you can't lie anymore.

Most people's lives are nothing more than pointlessly frantic activity used as a psychological defense against their own impotence and fear.

You show me a truly funny girl who doesn't have emotional issues, and I'll introduce you to my stable of unicorn thoroughbreds ridden by leprechaun jockeys.

The haters always scream the loudest.