Quotes from Greg Gutfeld

Generally, I don't bother trying to keep up with prolific bands - but Thee Oh Sees demand it.

Delayed gratification is the one thing we ignore these days. And if you delay it, it becomes more pleasurable later in life.

I've said it before: If Queen had died and reincarnated as one person, it would be Devin Townsend.

I know that if I say something that's considered outrageous, a group will take it, create an email blast, and use me to raise money or to do whatever, to build their profile.

The good and bad thing about online trolling: it's not on the street, and it's not on the street! The good: nothing physical erupts; the bad: there are no brakes to stop it.

As foreign attacks increase, it's easy to treat them like bad weather happening somewhere else. It's what we read over breakfast. But when that storm hits your shores, remember this: Wishful thinking never saved a single life. The truth, however, has.

Nothing is ever as bad as it seems. Nor does it ever last as long as you think.

President Obama's farewell speech soared, towered, dragged. True, it was longer than Reagan's, Clinton's and GWB's speeches combined. If it got any longer, it would have qualified as a third term.

Here is a fact: If Facebook were a religion, it will be the third largest behind Islam and Christianity. Its success is rooted and capitalizing on the human desire to bond.

Terror, married to technology and accommodated by progress in travel, has turned evil individuals into traveling ballistic missiles.

No one wants a lecture when you're getting a latte. So if you get one without asking, isn't that grounds for some discipline?

I guess coming out against actual evil takes guts.

I'm sure if you could survey the unborn they would prefer the chance for life over the options of solar power.

I think the reason why 'Red Eye' is popular is because we question the common assumptions that you find elsewhere.

It's not misogynistic to criticize a legendary female pop singer; it's misogynistic to think a legendary female pop singer can't handle it.

I don't care much for Hillary Clinton.

Work together. Do not purge your allies because of purity.

The joy of hate reflects people who get off pretending to hate something, or hate you, in order to score political points. I call them the 'tolerati' - you know, a group of people who claim to be tolerant, except when they run into someone who disagrees with them.

I don't understand why a 40 is a quarter of beer when a 40 is 40 ounces. It's time to embrace the metric system.

Human evolution relies on cooperation, which is why identity politics feels so backward.

I agree and I disagree in the sense that I think that he [Donald Trump] has a fondness for autocrats, but at the same time, isn't he talking about like perception of defending your country.

Trump has manufactured the first-ever Celebrity Immunity Bubble - rendering him incapable of offense, no matter whom he offends. It's brilliant.

I admire President Obama's ability to trust strangers.

An actual scientist embraces debate because it sharpens their research.