Quotes from Greg Gutfeld

The [Confederate] Flag is - literally - sewed division. People claim it means different things to different people, but it harkens back to the pro-slavery side of the war.

Ask dumb questions and listen quietly for the answers. That's a wisdom stair climber.

By silencing speech, the new Left makes life more dangerous by leaving violence as the only option. Maybe that's what they want.

A Smith & Wesson does more for empowering women than Feminism ever could

It takes a special, selfless person to make music that accommodates the universal need for mindless escapism - or what I call oblivion.

What a contrast, Trump is feisty but flexible. Obama, cool but rigid. But he had no reason to bend. The media already bought into his shtick. His giddy fan base ate up every white-coated lie.

I don't think Trevor Noah got his job by being a conservative.

Normally, 'Saturday Night Live' is about as entertaining as an ocular migraine.

Creating a fan base of both fervent feelers and fanboys, Trump magnificently played off many fawning commentator's insecurities - using the deep desire to be liked or noticed by Trump as a method to keep their criticism of him tamped down.

I've done two shows every day for years, but I don't think I could work on just one show a week. I would go crazy, and I would drive everybody nuts. I've got to feel like I'm under pressure.

ObamaCare was a lemon, but the media were his lemonheads.

The bands I like are not obscure at all. Far from it.

Actors seem brave and unpredictable, but they're spontaneous as a tax return.

Ideas are things that happen at any time because you're constantly thinking and evaluating life as if it were an eternally unsolvable math problem, which it is.

Sully's' upbeat message is that we still need humans. It was the heroically human Sully who saved those people, not some cold equation written on a chalkboard.

How odd that the proponents of free expression think 'free' only applies to them.

At a certain point, we need to figure out how to reward those who choose a path that offers, often, almost no reward.

Some things get better with age. And then there's Madonna.

I have friends my age who started smoking pot when they got out of college. They didn't get anywhere. But if they drank, they managed to go somewhere. Does that make sense?

You should just go, go to work, work hard, be a perfectionist, be a workhorse. If you work 10 years straight, you'll be comfortable and set for life. That is a fact.

I am not the least bit religious, but at least I stick up for the good work of religion and the cascade of benefits that come from religion.

It's the great deception in modern culture: Bad things call for noble names to cloak their evil outcomes.

There's an argument that celebrities stop growing mentally the moment they reach stardom and then they just - everything goes away. I think that's true.

Hollywood's schizophrenia over guns is matched only by their attitude toward taxes. Ever wonder why they film in Vancouver so often? It ain't for the beaches, I can tell you.