Quotes from Dane Cook

I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.

I never leave a dog alone in a car on a hot day. I make sure it's with an elderly person holding a baby.

Sometimes girls act all TNT Network because they know drama. That's when guys get all TBS around you because we think it's very funny.

If you use tact you can say anything, then make it funny.