Quotes from Will Rogers

There are three kinds of men. The ones that learn by readin'. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

Things ain't what they used to be and never were.

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.

Coolidge is a better example of evolution than either Bryan or Darrow, for he knows when not to talk, which is the biggest asset the monkey possesses over the human.

A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you.

One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide.

If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping. 'Course, if you sell cheaper than him, that's mass production.

When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he can in college as an amateur.

In all your life, you will never find a method more effective in getting through to another person than to make that person feel important.

Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got worse.

There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators.

Prohibition is better than no liquor at all.

Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

The difference between a Republican and a Democrat is the Democrat is a cannibal they have to live off each other, while the Republicans, why, they live off the Democrats.

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business?

It's great to be great, but its greater to be human.

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.

If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.

That's the trouble with a politician's life-somebody is always interrupting it with an election.

In the early days of the Indian Territory, there were no such things as birth certificates. You being there was certificate enough.

When you are satisfied, you are successful. For that's all there is to success is satisfaction.

One way to solve the traffic problem is to keep all the cars that are not paid for off the streets.