Quotes from Will Rogers

I'll bet you the time ain't far off when a woman won't know any more than a man.

If your time is worth anything, travel by air. If not, you might just as well walk.

When I die, my epitaph or whatever you call those signs on gravestones is going to read: "I joked about every prominent man of my time, but I never met a man I didn't like."

A debt is just as hard for a Government to pay as it is for an individual. No debt ever comes due at a good time. Borrowing is the only thing that seems handy all the time.

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due.

The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other.

Now if there is one thing that we do worse than any other nation, it is try and manage somebody else's affairs.

One Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials.

So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way.

In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can't read. If they could read their stuff, they'd stop writing.

I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times.

Even though you are on the right track - you will get run over if you just sit there.

Outside of traffic, there is nothing that has held this country back as much as committees.

I love horses and I only ask-don't let me know which one we are eating today.

If you want to be successful, love what you are doing.

Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth.

The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for he is looking with the crowd. But the one that can see years ahead, he has a telescope but he can't make anybody believe that he has it.

Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.

Nothing makes a man, or a body of men, as mad as the truth. If there is no truth in it, they laugh it off.

Every Gag I tell must be based on truth. No matter how much I may exaggerate it, it must have a certain amount of Truth.... Now Rumor travels Faster, but it don't stay put as long as Truth.

There wasn't any more truth in over half of what any so-called orator said. If it wasn't a Deliberate Lie, why it was an Exaggerated Falsehood.