Quotes from Bill Cosby

A father has to do everything in his power to keep a tight ship, even though he knows the crew would like to send him away in a dinghy.

The three ingredients of a successful union between two ... humor, commitment & undying love.

If I didn't like poor people, why would I come and tell them how to make their lives better?

For college seniors there should be a week of being allowed to cry. Just break down and cry because you are scared and don't know what's next.

Sometimes you try to help people, and it backfires on you, and then they try to take advantage of you.

Any husband who says, "My wife and I are completely equal partners," is talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge.

The wisest married men give in early. They get in touch with the wife side of themselves, and that's when they stop arguing.

You'll have many, many friends, but if your relationship with your mate is one hundred per cent of your heart, you'll never need a friend.

Tons of comedians have said, 'I grew up learning from Bill Cosby. He's great.' But that respect doesn't mean much to the young people. They like their ginger ale with hot sauce.

I'm one of those who cut off seeing people after a certain time, when the weight is gone and they sound like the dementia is very advanced - I don't want to see that. I don't even go in to look at the body. That's not my last memory.

Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes.

When I was a boy if a girl got pregnant the shame was placed on her and the boy could get away.

There should be more on television that uplifts people and shows them how to better prepare themselves for earning a living.

If I read the small print, and I see that what I love to taste has pantonaponamene or fake smeinlioaimine, then I have to hide in my room when I eat it. I'm still gonna eat it, it's just gonna be 'Don't come in here!'

There are teachers in the United States who cry in the daytime because they see a child or children who haven't eaten properly, children who haven't used soap in so long.

If you have one of the worst schools in the city, then chances are the teachers are not going to care for you. Chances are the parents don't feel seriously about coming to meet with teachers.

Kids need to remember that when you put something on Twitter, it's not like whispering to your friend, you've put it on a billboard that the whole world, including your own kids someday, can see.

My observations are not bread crumbs. They do not dissolve. They are on record, on film printed in books, and found on the Internet. I am happy to share them. For this I was born.

If you watch kids looking at something on television, even something that's produced for them and is supposed to be funny, what you'll notice is that they don't laugh.

Now, Richard Pryor was unique. Many misunderstood his humor. He lit up the hallway, but they didn't understand his use of profanity. He didn't use it just to be using it; he used it in the context of his satire.

You don't know what you're going to fall in love with until you're exposed to it.

Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you're telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much.

In September of 1960, I was blessed - and I'm not saying blessed in the everyday religious way - when Temple University accepted me after scoring 500 on the SAT. I was 23 years old, and they put me in remedial. I was the happiest remedial person on earth.

Immortality is a long shot, I admit. But somebody has to be first.