Quotes from Bill Cosby

I'm not going out and hitting a 95-mph fastball where I can't see the stitches. I'm not on a professional football team looking to tackle a fullback who is built like solid wood. I'm a thinking person, and I've been blessed with the ability to see some things and talk about them in a way that registers in a humorous and funny way.

I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Never say [to younger people] "that was before your time," because the last full moon was before their time!

When you carry a gun, you mean to harm somebody, kill somebody.

There are times my stories become - what I feel - not only accessible to hearing me on television, but they make wonderful reading.

According to the State of Florida, the person with the gun has the right to defend him or herself.

I watch an awful lot of television, and I get a little tired of what I see... We have about six television sets in our house, and it's less expensive for me to do a television series than it is for me to throw them all out.

People say to me, 'Do you know who you look like?' And I say, 'I'm really tired of looking like that guy.'

What people are tired of, the people who agree with me, what they're tired of is listening to that sound, the sound of the people who've given up.

What we need is for people to realize - 'I want to raise my kid. I want to go back and get my three kids. I want to take on that responsibility. I want to love my children.'

College was a wonderful time - except, of course, when it was trying to teach you things.

I'm not saying looting is good, ... But I'm saying surely at a time when your child needs diapers and you need food, when does looting stop.

The heart of marriage is memories.

You don't reinvent yourself; you get better with what you do.

'The Cosby Show' made an impact on comedy, television and culture. We rejected lowering the bar.

Family is conflict and it's something that we all relate to.

Every success story has a parent who says, 'over my dead body.' Every success story has an old person who walks up to you and says, when you're acting the fool, 'you know I worry about you sometimes.'

I don't spend my hours worrying how to slip a social message into my act.

Racial humor was about 35% of my act when I first started. But I realized that it was a crutch. What brought it home was when another comedian said to me, 'If you changed color tomorrow, you wouldn't have any material.' He meant it as a put-down, but I took it as a challenge.

The past is a ghost, the future a dream and all we ever have is now.

My children love my mother, and I tell my children, that is not the same woman I grew up with...That is an old woman trying to get into heaven now.

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked.

Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.

We're the geniuses of the house because only a person intelligent as we could fake such stupidity.