Quotes from Mindy Kaling

Because confidence is like respect; you have to earn it. (P.220)

With no music to listen to, I just biked around in circles talking to myself like a kid on the cover of a Robert Cormier young adult novel, circling around puzzled Jewish families walking back to their cars. This is how I learned to ride a bike.

my secret is: even though I wish I could be thin, and that I could have the ease of lifestyle that I associate with being thin, I don't wish for it with all of my heart. Because my heart is reserved for way more important things. I will leave you with one last piece of advice, which is: If you've got it, flaunt it. And if you don't got it? Flaunt it. 'Cause what are we even doing here if we're not flaunting it?

The smart and funny write Nathan Rabin coined the term Manic Pixie Dream Girl to describe a version of this archetype after seeing Kristen Dunst in the movie Elizabethtown.

It's traumatizing to think that a best friend could become just a friend. That's because there is virtually no difference between an acquaintance and a friend. But the gulf between a friend and a best friend is enormous and profound.

For lunch I usually have something hearty like a burger or tacos. I have always believed lunch should be the biggest meal of the day. People who say breakfast should be the biggest meal are insane. You can't have dessert at breakfast.

When I played the "I don't feel comfortable" card, he knew it was over. "I don't feel comfortable" is the classic manipulative girl get-my-way line. It's right up there with "I don't feel entirely safe." Was it fair? Nope. Was it cool? Absolutely not. But it also wasn't fair or cool for him to have brought three dozen size-zero gowns to my photo shoot.

Like every heterosexual woman and gay man in the country, I think James Franco is a very mysterious and sexy weirdo and I'd like to be invited to do a love scene with him in one of his art house movies.

Haters are just more people paying attention to you. (P.21)

There is a certain type of greasy hair that you get only when you are writing with no breaks.

And as everyone knows, the best kind of laughter is laughter born of a shared memory.

But I'm the kind of person who actually likes feeling a little bit out of place. Aspirational is how I feel comfortable.

My attitude toward alcohol was that it was a delicious and dangerous treat that, when obtained, needed to be ingested quickly in case someone tried to take it away. You know, the way a raccoon eats from a garbage can.

As a kid, I was curious but not remotely adventurous, if that makes sense.

No food is as delicious as food you eat standing a foot away from a trash can. Ask any possum. THE

10. I will never have a husband and all my female acquaintances will. 11. I WILL have a husband and he will be like my female acquaintances' husbands.

We clung to each other with blind loyalty, like Lord Voldemort and his snake, Nagini. I, of course, was Nagini. If you messed with one of us, you knew you messed with both of us, and Voldemort was going to cast a murder spell on you, or Nagini was going to chomp on your jugular.

Being called fat is not like being called stupid or unfunny, which is the worst thing you could ever say to me.

Is soap cool again, or is body wash still the way to go?

However, you should know I disagree with a lot of traditional advice. For instance, they say the best revenge is living well. I say it's acid in the face—who will love them now?

Work hard, know your shit, show your shit, and then feel entitled. Listen to no one except the two smartest and kindest adults you know, and that doesn't always mean your parents. If you do that, you will be fine.

So my second realization was that I would rather be lonely than be friends with non-friends. Losing friends is hard, but losing fake friends, as it turns out, is pretty damn easy.

I want you to picture me as a cute little anime character that popped out from behind a mushroom or something and landed in Hollywood.

It has come to the point where if I know I'm leaving a house with a man, I can factor in a bathroom visit or a phone call or both, and when I'm done, he'll almost be done tying his shoes.