Quotes from Louis C. K.

You have to be aware of who you're talking to in an audience.

It's kind of awkward to eat alone in a restaurant because everybody's looking at me.

I was an awkward kid.

Some entertainers don't pay attention to what's going on around them.

Everything that people say is testable.

I don't know what it's like to be an actor, where if your show gets canceled, really you're just a bum.

There's no such thing as a cheap laugh.

There's been a lot of simple vilification of right-wing people. It's really easy to say, 'Well, you're Christian, you're anti-this and that, and I hate you.' But to me, it's more interesting to say, 'What is this person like and how do they really think?'

You know, the people who do indie film and decide who gets those little budgets? They're mean, man. They're cold and very cool-oriented.

The part that's difficult is being single, at 41, after 10 years of marriage and two kids. That's like having a bunch of money in a currency of a country that doesn't exist anymore.

My bank is the worst. They are screwing me. You know what they did to me? They're charging me money for not having enough money. Apparently, when you're broke, that costs money.

When you're a father in a marriage, you sort of become the mother's assistant. And you sort of get a list from her every day and you run down the list and it feels very much like a chore.

God is like a shitty girlfriend.

I think I'm past any window where I'm suddenly going to become surprisingly ripped so that people go, 'Oh, my God, what happened to you?'

I think you have to try and fail, because failure gets you closer to what you're good at.

The only road to doing good shows, is doing bad shows.

I have a lot of beliefs, and I live by none of them - that's just the way I am they make me feel good about who I am.

Young people don't even consider that it's a good idea to be out on the fringe, which is where good ideas come from.

Everything that's difficult you should be able to laugh about.

There's no real preparing at home for stand-up. You just go and you just do it.

I've met a lot of people who've lost their jobs and they still have a sense of humor.

The only pitch I have to movie people is the same as this one: Just give me $8 million. I'm not telling you what it's about and I'm not telling you who's in it.

I don't have a room full of writers pitching ideas. It's just me out of my head.

I'm not a political comedian. That's just not what I do.