Quotes from Louis C. K.

To me, art supplies are always okay to buy.

Stand-up is probably the most solo performance in art.

I'm bored' is a useless thing to say. You live in a great, big, vast world that you've seen none percent of.

I'm enjoying the work while I get it right now.

Either I'll never get rich from the show but remain intensely proud of the work and stand behind every second of it, or it catches on and I'll make my money down the road.

Expensive quality work doesn't cost more - it pays.

I've always got the road. Stand-up makes you so autonomous and self-sufficient that it really helps with that part of show business.

People don't talk to me on airplanes.

I would rather be with my kids than anybody else.

I never viewed money as being 'my money' I always saw it as 'the money.' It's a resource. If it pools up around me then it needs to be flushed back out into the system.

My uncles were all funny. My dad wasn't funny, but my uncles were all funny. Now I go back and I like him better than them, they were manipulative funny.

When I got divorced, I thought 'Well, there goes my act.'

I do feel a lot of times like I'm out of my league with my kids in terms of what my responsibility is.

I get mad like anybody else does, but being able to laugh about getting mad is very healthy, and my kids know that.

...Then I got divorced and everything changed, and I became a father in a whole new way and found a whole new set of difficulties.

What happens after you die? Lot's of things happen after you die - they just don't involve you

One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December.

I was in a hotel room in Dallas, and I was jerking off so much and so sadly and pathetically, that the phone rang, and I thought it's them, they're complaining. ... "Sir, could you please stop?"

Most people are dead. Hitler. Ray Charles. Some other guys. But mostly those two.

Sorry - Americans only buy things that come from suffering. They just enjoy it more when they know someone's getting hurt.

Last week I got a flu that I caught, 'cause my daughter coughed ... into my mouth.

To me, comedies are usually the least funny movies. Movies that are actually a comedy are usually not all that funny. To me Goodfellas and Raging Bull are two of the funniest movies I ever saw.

To me the goal of comedy is to just laugh, which is a really high hearted thing, visceral connection and reaction.